A
female
age
30-35,
*nLoveW/Love
writes:my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and a half. Yesterday was our six month anniversary. Kind of a big deal. My sister ended up taking us out to eat.My problem is he doesn't try to impress me anymore. We do the same thing day in and day out and he says he'd like to do more but i honestly think he'd be satisfied doing what we do now for the rest of his life.I asked him to do something romantic for our anniversary and he didn't do anything! Couldn't even clean his room for us. I tried to get some wine, some "herbal remedies" (if you know what i mean) he wouldn't even drink and wanted to watch a movie and have sex (like we do every night!) I ended up falling asleep and he took me home at like 11:00.I'm an on the go kind of girl. I love spontaneous fun and going out and drinking and meeting new people. That's just me.He's gotten comfortable, put on weight, stopped shaving even. The sex is good but mediocre. Do i leave over something so small as boredom?? I don't want to be a lonely frustrated housewife. Its probably my biggest fear. But I'm in love with him. Whole hearted cheesy, plan our kids names and schools kind of love. Am i being ridiculous? Should he try more? Please help me lol...i need it.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 January 2011):
 Good for you! Spotting that you are incopatible can be hard, but when you're not a good match you're just not a good match so why waste any time with it.
A
female
reader, InLoveW/Love +, writes (31 December 2010):
InLoveW/Love is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for the great advice. I am guilty of centering my happiness around him. But my thing is, if i wanted to have fun and enjoy life with everybody else I'd be with everybody else ya know??
I want him and me to experience great things together. I don't expect The Notebook love story to happen everyday. But this guy has seriously lost his zest for living, and to be honest I'm not sure if he ever had any zest.
Any who I broke up with him last night. We are incompatible. Thanks again for the advice.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (30 December 2010):
I happen to think boredom isn't a "small" problem. It's a rather crucial point. At times things can slow down, but as this has turned into the regular style of the relationship I think it is fair to say things won't change any time soon. He's landed in a rut, or takes you for granted. If he's taking you for granted now you can rest assured he'll do it again down the road, even if things freshen up a bit immedeately, he will soon return to .. this.
There's hope for talking about it and working on it.. But I wouldn't bet on it. So, my advice for you will not be to dump him, if he overall makes you happy, is a good guy etc. But to get active without him. The common fault we ladies do in a relationship is make it all about the guy. If the guy doesn't have a life, then we don't have a life. It's got to stop. Who cares if HE doesn't want to do stuff, find someone else to hang out with! Your boyfriend is your partner, he's not supposed to be your one and only friend in life and only source of human contact.
If the only problem in your relationship is boredom then I suggest you start having some fun. You can not blame him for being bored, you can only blame yourself. Go out, drink, have fun, meet new people. I once had a boyfriend who didn't like to go dancing or clubbing, I went without him and had a blast! Why should he have to drag things down when you can go out and have fun. Let him do what he enjoys, and do what YOU enjoy for yourself, or bring some other friends.
However do be aware that if he can't keep his promises to you he might be neglecting you and taking you for granted, which are serious problems in a relationship. Those things need to get worked on and improved. For example if he told you he'd do something special on your anniversary he SHOULD do something special. And do not let it slide. Teach him that he needs to give in the relationship, and if he wants a happy relationship he should be attentive and actually wanting to make you happy as well, and not be selfish. Because if he does get selfish teh relationship will soon end, no matter how much fun you have on your own outside of the relationship.
Give him one chance only! Draw the line at one point and do not accept any crap, just draw the line, say here it is, and see if he can meet up to regular demands of a relationship. If he can't then you know what you need to do: leave.
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