A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I and my boyfriend had been best friends for one and half years, then we started dating. It has been around one and half years since we started going out as a couple. Now my boyfriend says that he is not sure if he wants me in his life as a girlfriend or best friend but he is sure that he wants me in life somehow, if not as a girlfriend then as a best friend. He says that he likes me, loves me and doesn’t want to lose me but he is confused about his feelings towards me. I was planning to step back gracefully and ask him to take a break from the relationship while he sorts out his feelings. What should I do people? Should I break up with him completely as he says stuffs like I’m not into relationships, I get bored with things quickly, and my mind fluctuates? I know that I love him very much and this is a very painful decision to make. But if he is not into me then, it’s time to let go of him. Advices from you people will be appreciated thoroughly!
View related questions:
a break, best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): Thank you all for taking the time to reply to messages. I thought that I must update. My boyfriend broke up with me last night. He said that I am not his type. Now he's being super nice to me and acting like my best friend. Everyone is asking me to cut all contacts with him. But I'm afraid that if I do that, I'll lose him forever. What should I do? I am confused.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (13 March 2011):
Hi there. Because you were first best friends for a year and a half, then started dating, it's a big transition and it's possible your boyfriend is becoming confused about his feelings because of this.
It's also possible that he misses the friendship you both had before you became a couple.
While I realize you can still be good friends as a couple, it's not quite the same thing.
You need to talk to him alone, and ask him if he'd like to go back to just being best friends again.
He might prefer being friends and might not want or really be ready, for anything serious at the moment.
This does need to be clarified as soon as possible.
It's important that you want the same things.
If he only wants friendship but you want the boyfriend girlfriend thing, well then it might be time to part ways.
However before you decide, it needs to be clarified first - then go from there.
Take care and best wishes.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous26 +, writes (13 March 2011):
well i do not think you should break up and all that bcoz relationships dont come in a flick of a finger !!!
i think you yourself could help him and sort things out coz u mite know him better than anyone !!
incase you have already tried speaking to him and he still hasnt decide then give him some time to think on his own!!
and then if he says he doesnt want u as his girlfriend then it is his loss!!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): If only everyone of your age was as mature as you! You have absolutely the right approach. He is obviously going through some major turmoil and needs time to sort out his head and heart.Step away from this relationship, tell him you think it best that you don't have any contact until he sorts out his head. But, be careful! The last thing you want is to create a situation where he's back and fore to you like a yo-yo! One minute, yes I want to be with you, then the next, no I'm not sure.The other possibility is that he is actually trying to break up with you, but doesn't know how to do so ... have you considered that? If this was the "final goodbye", how would you feel about that? Only you can decide if you want to give him time and space, or if you'd rather just call it a day.I wish you a happy, healthy and peaceful life, and the strength to make the right decision for you.
...............................
|
