A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of almost 3 years claims i mean the world to him. But a couple days ago i saw texts in his phone to another female and they were making plans to get together romanticly......my hearts crushed and my trust has gone out the window. And on top of that were expecting. I was thinking maybe im getting too unsexy.....any advice?
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male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (24 March 2010):
"were" expecting? I'd monitor his behavior, bust him in the act (on film) and dump him... but share his behavior with the world. His Mom will be proud.If that's too complicated dump him and sue for child support.Oh, and next time, don't get knocked up till you're married.
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (23 March 2010):
 How sure are you that he plans to cheat? If you're positive, and even though he hasn't done anything yet, I would talk to him. Although snooping around someone's phone is not the best thing to do, I'd let him know what you've found out.
He might be meeting this girl to cheat on you, and there you are blaming yourself saying maybe you're getting too 'unsexy.'
You need to change the way you think. He doesn't love you if he's planning to cheat on you. How can you be his world if he's able to disrespect you like that? Don't think this is your fault...it's anything but.
Three years and a child is not something to take lightly. You need to sit him down and talk. Even though he might not have done anything yet, the mere fact that he's planning to do it is a big warning sign for you. I know you've probably got a lot invested in this relationship but you need to really think about the future now. What else has he been doing? Even though you've got a baby to think about, you also need to think about what you can and cannot live with. Ask yourself if this was a mistake in his judgment or if he'll slip up and do it again. Only you know him. Has he ever done anything similar in the past, given you reason not to trust him?
Perhaps I'm going to extremes, but it's better to re-evaluate the relationship now, than be with a cheating and lying man a few years down the track. Only you know him and your relationship. Think about things clearly and do what you think will make you happy in the future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): advice? confront him and distance urself. no guy should treat u like that no matter how long uve been with them. he may love u but hes not that in love with u since he blatantly disrespected u.
take a break, breath, dont contact him for a while. isnt it obvious what most people are going to say to u. u knw very well that u dont deserve this and there is this small voice in ur mind telling u to leave him but ure scared to let go because uve been dating him for so long and u tell urself that he loves u to justify the whole rel.
be strong and just confront him. DONT forgive him so easily for it. he might soon be telling u all these sweet things like "its not serious, i was just fooling around" or "its ur the one i love".
the fact is, if ure going to forgive him so easily and take him back into ur life after what hes doing/done.. then hes never likely to ever respect u.
like i said, u need time off to think things clearly and if u cut out contact with him for a while it will more than likely make give u power over the situation (he wil be the one begging to go back to u)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): You need to kick him to the curb. If he is not committed to you or your baby then he is simply not worth your time. Just because it's his baby does not mean you have to stay with him and put up with him running around behind your back. Do you have any family or friends that would be willing to help you out if you do decide to get rid of him? Being pregnant and raising a baby is a hard time and you'll need support, but just because it's his doesn't mean it has to be him who's there, know what I mean?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 March 2010):
 I don't know the background of your relationship but you must tell him no. Pregnant women are able to have sex up until the last month. There may be psychological blocks coming from his side. Many couples, my parents included, have overcome this and continued to have loving, sexual relationship until old old age. My dad actually told mom he wished they could do this until their 80s. If your boyfriend doesn't listen to you and don't get over his issues, take it as a sign that he doesn't love you. You could suggest a threesome with him if you are open minded. That's what I did and luckily my then husband prefers having sex with me as the other girl was reluctant. If not, what he's doing is cheating. He should consult other men about how to deal with this, but if he doesn't love you anyway he's not going to listen. He should have faith that your sex drive will come back 100%. Right now just focus on your baby. Don't let your stress affect the baby.
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