A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so I need help!My boyfriend and I have met 9 months ago, fell in love, all too right, moved in together after 3 months in a new city, got a job together, spent 24/7 together and everything is perfect in daily life, we love being together, we barely fight, except when it comes to his sister who used to be my friends but after we just moved in, we had no money, no job and I felt very much useless and unhappy about the situation, not blaming him though. He went to seek for advice to her and she totally told him to break up. He didn't and all went back to normal, we even got engaged. Feeling a jealousy from the sister, I backed away and tried to show him she wasn't very supportive of us, 3 months without much talking to her, the problem remained. They are very close so I knew it was hurting him. 10 days ago, he left me saying he needed space and could never get it, he felt controlled, like he couldn't be himself anymore. I have thought about it and noticed that as long as I am happy everything goes well, if I feel depressed and of course clingy, then he is unhappy. He says he loves me and misses me but feels happier since I left (I went back to my parents for a couple of weeks) and that his sister would be supportive if she knew he was happy. He needs space and time and doesn't know how much time (so far it goes up to 2 months), he thinks we are not meant to be together although he loves spending his time with me and loves me like crazy.Will he come back?
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broke up, depressed, engaged, fell in love, jealous, money, moved in, needs space Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would like to thank you guys for your answer. As always, the situation was complicated and from the given explanation, I think you gave your best point of view. However, after 2 weeks, we had to meet again to sort out some material problem and he realized he was making a big mistake and we talked about our situation, we understood it and the problems so from there we are actually working on solving them. I cannot guarantee it will work, but we are very much willing to be happy together.
He did need space and so did I even though I had been forced to have it, so we could sort ourselves out and come back stronger being sure of our choices. Lots of work to do still but a lot more hopes :)
Thank you
A
male
reader, Japino  +, writes (18 February 2011):
In my book, that line "wanting space" is just a way of saying "I want our breaking-up to happen slowly so that it'll hurt less."
Be prepared, my dear. He really wants out. He just couldn't tell it to you point-blank.
If I were you, cut quick, and cut clean. It may be hard, but that's the best way. Break-up with him, and move on.
Trust me. There are so many other guys out there more deserving of you.
Cheers! It's not the end of the world.
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