A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this is long but please read it because I am in dire need of help.My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year and a half and everything seemed to be going great. He goes to uni in Swansea and I go to uni in Cardiff so we are only 1 hour away and we see each other every weekend. But recently we have been arguing so often (mostly about the little things) and it is just getting me down. I mean, my friends and I (who I live with at the moment) have planned to dress as Oompa Loompas for Halloween (Please dont laugh :D ) and because my boyfriend wasn't invited he got really nasty about it and was all like "thats fine, as long as I know you are going to put your friends before me all the time then that's fine" and really sarcastic and all. Whenever he doesn't get his way he acts really childish and tries to push my buttons and wind me up and cause an argument. He even admitted that sometimes when he feels low he deliberately tries to make me feel the same so he doesn't feel as bad. He used to be really controlling like asking me where I was going on nights out, what I was wearing, how much I would drink, what time I would be getting in etc and he has stopped but that still doesn't excuse him being mean.I know this has been really long but I really need some advice on what I should do. I am madly and completely in love with him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him but I don't know if I can live my life with him causing arguments and pulling me down when he feels like it.Do I stay or do I go? Help me please!!! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Ven  +, writes (19 October 2010):
You have to realize that he is the one with the problem. You love him, so you can help him with that. He is controlling (which usually means he is jealous), and angry for no good reason (which usually means he is depressed).
So if he only gets to see you on weekends, and is jealous and depressed, do you think you'd be able to cut him some slack? He needs you to reassure him that you love him, and that you think he is a good guy doing great things with his life.
When he says things like, "thats fine, as long as I know you are going to put your friends before me all the time" you need to stop him right there. Don't fight about not inviting him, talk about the way he handles it. Be loving but firm and let him know that while you love him, he needs to communicate how he feels better instead of blowing up on you.
P.S. - I am too lazy to post this reply in the meter and rhyme common to Oompa Loompas, and I apologize for it.
A
male
reader, Ven +, writes (19 October 2010):
You have to realize that he is the one with the problem. You love him, so you can help him with that. He is controlling (which usually means he is jealous), and angry for no good reason (which usually means he is depressed).So if he only gets to see you on weekends, and is jealous and depressed, do you think you'd be able to cut him some slack? He needs you to reassure him that you love him, and that you think he is a good guy doing great things with his life.When he says things like, "thats fine, as long as I know you are going to put your friends before me all the time" you need to stop him right there. Don't fight about not inviting him, talk about the way he handles it. Be loving but firm and let him know that while you love him, he needs to communicate how he feels better instead of blowing up on you.
...............................
|
