A
female
age
30-35,
*essmca
writes:Okay so my boyfriend has had this girl(friend) quote the word "Friend" for 3 years. Well, he's known her for 3 years. I have talked to her a couple times before and she seems nice. The thing is he texts her a lot, and she's brought up in our fights a lot because I get jealous that he wants her in his life for forever. My boyfriend gets a car in August and he said to me "The first thing when I get a car were taking a road trip to see **". She use to live in Colorado, but she moved to Utah, so he wants to take a road trip there. And I am worried when we go on that road trip that when we see her he will be giving her big hugs and pay attention to her more then me.. I am so worried and depressed about this road trip. I don't even wanna think about it, and I hope he forgets about this trip and so does she. I really need help and advice because it runs through my mind all the time!! :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): He chose you to be his girlfriend, even though he had a friendship with this other girl for 3 years, so that should be some comfort that he doesn't want their friendship to be any more than that.
If you try and stop him it isn't going to make you're relationship happy and you don't say how long you've been together-but if its early days and there is this jealousy already then it isn't healthy for the both of you.
Be optimistic and go on this trip with and and say how you'd like to meet her seeing as he considers her a good friend. But say that you'd like to plan a few days for just the two of you to go and do stuff together as well as spend time catching up with her.
At least he is asking you to come along, I would only worry if he had tried to go alone!
Hope you can work it out together x
A
male
reader, JazzedUp +, writes (29 May 2010):
 I am in a very similar situation, my best friend for 3 years is a girl, and my girl friend is jealous of her to extreme measures. As I have tried to explain to her, you must realize, who your bf is with now. He's known her for 3 years and they're only friends, that means something did or didn't happen to make them like each other, which is why he's with you now. This is cliche, but just like how many girls have more guy friends than girl friends, likewise is how many guys have more girl friends than guy friends. For guys, girls are easier to trust, and they actually care what happens to us. I would say talking to him but not escalating it into another fight. I wouldn't completely rule out the trip either. When I took my gf to see my best friend, they found they had a lot in common, and despite my gf still having jealousy, she admitted to enjoying her company. Also she told my gf many things about me that she later used to score points. So she might be able to help you with your relationship. If things don't come down good at all, you can always tell her how you feel and she will right away alert you to her intentions and feelings. Hope this helps, and I'm really sorry it was so long.
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