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male
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anonymous
writes: I have met this girl three months from now. We love each other so much. The problem is that we have are all virgins. We agreed to have sex but she always say we are going to do it and now she says she can't. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2005): Firstly you dont arrange a time and date on when to have sex just puts the pressure on the situation and causes you to freak about it whether virgins or not..be patient with her the right time will come for both of you and you will both know its the right time..respect how she is feeling..try talking to her about whats going on in her head and what she is worried about and how she is feeling..making it clear you are prepared to wait you just want to talk with her and share her worries.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2005): treat the girl with respect and it will pay off soon and you could have everlasting love
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (17 October 2005):
 Back off Jack, a relationship comes first with lots of getting to know each other. Have some fun together that doesn't relate to sex. Build a solid foundation of love and trust. She will be ready when she's ready. Sex is only a part of a relationship.
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A
female
reader, not again +, writes (17 October 2005):
Is she giving you a reason why not? Surely if you ask her and she tells you why then you are in a much better position to go forward from. Don't put any pressure on her, just say that you would like to know why she changed her mind and is there anything you can do to help/ support her? She might just be a little scared, or she mightve realised- as it came to the crunch- that she's just not ready. Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2005): Talk to her! Communication is the biggest sexual aide we have. Maybe she is really scared, maybe she feels she has to say yes in order to maintain a relationship with you. It can be really hard to talk openly about sex with her but you have to re-assure her that talking is the best way to overcome any fear she may have. Whatever you do, don't pressure her into doing anything she is not completely comfortable with. Just because sometimes it seems that 'everyone else is doing it' doesn't mean it's right for every person. Communicate, communicate, communicate!!!
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