A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Long story semi-short. I am in love with 2 men. The first I lived with 4 years and while it was a wonderful relationship filled with love, he was not ready to get married like I wanted and needed. I moved out and purchased my own home and we keep in contact. In 4 years there was never one fight and he is very deep, honest and sincere. He is financially conservative and therefore secure.I then met another man who took my breath away: good looking, fit, great partner and proposed after 4 months. I accepted but for some reason cannot mail the invitations and we are 4 weeks from the wedding date and don't know what to do. I moved out of his home 3 days ago and said I need to think things through. The thing that bothers me the most is that he has spending problems and is slightly in dept. He makes decent money but has always spent over his means. He has never been married and is 50 years old.My first love called to say he will never get over me and wants to marry me and spend his life making it up to me. Since he is the most honest person I know, I believe him. He is 52 years old and married twice to women who cheated on him so I can understand why he was scared to open his love to another marriage, but is now ready.Both men love me and know I deeply both of them. I am so confused I have resorted to asking advice on the internet. I appreciate any advice.
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female
reader, Legioness  +, writes (6 July 2010):
 We can't tell you what to do, you have to figure this out on your own as it's such a life changing thing.
All I can say is to look deep inside your heart and find whom it lies with, weigh up the pro's and cons and open your mind, day dream a little bit - imagine your life in ten years time, who are you with? What's life like?
If you're happy with how you imagine your future with either man you see it with then there's your answer.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, KingOfThron  +, writes (6 July 2010):
 Thats a really hard one, But the man you where first with i think is the better choice, you have been with him the longest and know him better, what your feeling for this new handom,fit man is new lust it happens to the best of us after we leave some one we love. getting marryed after 4 months is to fast i feel, you dont yet know him completly and your jugment may be a bit..bioest, meaning you WANT to get marryed and this guy was willing to offer that to you, and people want what they want in life making you lean the other way to this new guy
As i was saying a man that has lost something that he truly loves will do anything(thats why the first man is now willing to marry you) like the saying "you dont know what you got this it gone" he was afrade because of the past and no its not 100% fair to you but he now relised that you may not cheat on him and that he is in love with you that he is willing to give you that chance, but down to it, it's your choice make what make you happy
Good luck :)
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