A
female
age
41-50,
*hatterbox123
writes:Iv'e been with my husband for nearly 12 years. we met aged 19 and within two months we were engaged, within eight months we were living together, two years after that we were married. We now have two beautiful sons who are 6 and 2 years. I love my husband he works hard , and my friends tell me he is like gold dust because he is a hands on dad and helps around the home which is great.... I'ts just that I'm bored! We never go out as a couple ever, even on our aniversary. I've sugguested we go out on dates every so often, he agrees and then something comes up, like we have no money or whatever. He has no friends who he socialises with, no hobbies. He goes to work, come home, goes to work , come home...... We never go on holidays, days out unless i nagg him. He just has no drive to do anything spontaneous. I miss the old days when we used to go out and have fun. Hes great with our kids but I want something more... like a little time together, just with us or as a family. How can i make our relationship better?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): wow -- picture perfect life... and still complaining.. god may not be happy with this..
so my advise is to be happy with what you have.. my be one vacation per year is what you need.
A
female
reader, chatterbox123 +, writes (13 April 2011):
chatterbox123 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for reading my problem, i spose things like this happens in most relationships with children, Maybe i need to suggest more, rather than leave it up to him.x
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A
female
reader, chatterbox123 +, writes (13 April 2011):
chatterbox123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for reading my problem, i spose things like this happens in most relationships with children, Maybe i need to suggest more, rather than leave it up to him.x
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 April 2011):
 What do you do yourself for a living? Are you a stay at home mom? Have you looked into day care centers to get yourself out of the house? A change in your daily routine could be just what you need, because it gets boring to do the same thing every day! At the moment you are blaming your husband, thinking if he only did this, or that, then you'd be happy. You can't go back to doing things you did before as life only moves forward, not backwards. You need to adapt to the new situation, the stage of life you are at.
But going out yourself, experiencing something, without relying on your husband to have to bring you these new experiences, could do you good. It could also give you the inspiration you need to see things from a different angle and see how you can bring your family close and do things together.
What sort of family time do you want? Do you have family dinners, family breakfasts? What do you do on weekends, he's not at work then. If he's got no friends and no hobbies, he has loads of freetime in that respect (I do realize having a job, a wife, two kids and a home to take care of doesn't give you loads of freetime, but compared to how it'd be if he did have friends and hobbies in addition).
Something always comes up when you have a date? Like what? Time should have been set off, and it should be prioritized, right? So what is it that comes up? Could it be you, and him, don't fully realize how important these dates are in the long run? You think that "well its just this one time, we'll have another date soon instead" and so on? Perhaps you could write down when you plan a date, then if it gets canceled write down what reason it got canceled for and if a new date was set up? Then you and your husband could sit down together and have a look at if these reasons for canceling were really that important, and how often you have actually managed to get out on a date? Or if you remember the details, just have a talk about it right away?
Your husband sounds like he lacks a bit of inspiration, something an activity outside of work and house could give him. Perhaps he could join some activity with one of the kids? Like swimming, or camping etc. Does he work out? Working out and moving your body, getting fresh air, gives you energy and keeps you active. It sounds as if your husbands activity level is at the bottom, but you can't make him more active unless he himself wants to.... But it's something you could think about. Maybe do a work-out session together at home, or have the kids with a baby sitter and go for a hike together once a month or something?
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