A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a bitter person, after years of repression and a total loss of self confidence due to mass rejection time and time again, i have become angry and bitter towards the world. Before all of this i had friends and a social life. But one by one they ended up using me for their own ends and didn't want to know there after.Not excatly what you call freinds, but you live and learn. So now i don't go out and i don't have a social life because no one has any self respect or manners anymore finding good decent friends is hard and when they use you it makes it worse to trust anyone again.I know many will say you just gotta get your self out there, meet new people.Well, i have travelled the world and met many peole. only a few have remained good freinds, but they are so far from me. relationships.. had one.. there after it ws another case of being used as their emotional shoulder to cry on. and dumped when i out lived my use.And now? now i am bitter and angry, i still try my hardest and still fall and fail.Does this mean i am a bad person? bad personality?I try to do so much good for so many others and it just gets spat back in your face.Help
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female
reader, mudia +, writes (24 March 2011):
you have every right to be angry and bitter, i have been in your shoes before and i know how much it hurts. but know this, bitter and anger is self destructive. like u said u have isolated yourself now why those who clearly wronged you are enjoying life to the fullest so why should u lock yourself up. Life is not fair, so prepare yourself for irritation that will inevitably come your way but don't shut your up because of it cos in doing so, you are likely to also shut yourself up from the good and true friends coming your way. It is ok to be hurt, bitter and angry but it is not ok to dwell on them
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni've considered counselling, i've gone though many self help books, but they're all very generic and uninspiring. i have tried being chipper and happy in the mornings. its hard to force it.
doctors just want to put me on medication which i refuse to take as i knwo i will get hooked.
also how many people do you know of prozac.. they is it people on prozac always seem even more misrible?
i thank you all for your kind words.
and i hope that one day i will beable to feel again, i am just seeing little reason to meet people who will only try and f**k me over sometime in the future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
I do agree with Laura 1318 on this, You have to look on the possitive side of everything rather than looking towards the negative, If you wake in the morning feeling negative then that is your day set up for you as nothing will seem to go right. If you can find at least one possitive thing about yourself or that of something around you and concentrate on that hunny as time goes on it will get easier, In the mean time I feel you may need counselling for what appears to be a depression setting in. I would book an ap with your doctor so they can refere you and see if this will help. There are also self help books and meditation reading which will help love, I hope you feel better very soon take care with love MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 January 2008):
 [Quote]
i am only human and theres only so much a person can take. if you try your hardest and its still not good enough.. what is there to do? [Unquote.]
Some people are more blessed than others. They have everything in the world and we are just no where near them. Are they happy? Do material success means happiness to them? Of course not. There are the rich who are misery and commit suicide because they are unhappy. Money or things do not make you happy.
Happiness is knowing who you are and what you can do. It is not trying to do something which is beyond your ability.
You cannot fly like a bird. You know your limits and live by those boundaries and be happy with those little things that you can accomplish in life.
It is like a glass half full or half empty. If you think it is half full, you will be satisfied. If you think it is half empty then you would want more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the input. and i am in peaceful surroundings.. very peaceful in fact.
i'm just painfully unhappy, i don't drink so i find it hard to meet people. and when i do they're always flakey i'm just really unhappyi've been trying to better myself, trying to make a fresh start of things but i always end up falling on my face no matter how much of my heart and soul i put into it.
i am only human and theres only so much a person can take. if you try your hardest and its still not good enough.. what is there to do?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (14 January 2008):
Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host.
But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.
-Maya Angelou-
Whatever is afflicting us , we should not blame everybody or the world. The world does not owe us anything. If you want a better world, you will have to better yourself. People who live in the poor and backward countries are not angry or bitter with life. They are in fact quite happy with the simple life.
There are many people who are far worse than us in this world. The people who live in the slums and ghettos are not angry and bitter.
We humans have choices, we can be happy go lucky or we can walk the anger and bitterness route. If we have peace in our surroundings, we will have peace within ourselves. If we feel contented with what we have, we will feel happy.
Do you want to plant anger and bitterness in your heart or do you want to plant contentment and happiness?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
I no just what you mean love, At your age I went round with a crowd of people also had 2 indervidual friends and the crowd I went round with where selfish and always in trouble I was very quiet and shy I had met them through one person at school, She had moved away and I continued my friendships with these people getting more and more let down by there constant nasty remarks. It was horrible but these where the only friends I had untill one day I realised they needed me more as I helped them get out of trouble it was hard looking back but I walked away and slowly realised I had done a good thing, The other 2 who I was at c.f.e with well one I realised through my past experiences was just using me so I slowly stopped contact as I seemed more down after being in her company than happy, And 16yrs later after helping the other person out through everything from looking after her children to cleaning her house to storing all her belongings when she left, When she came back she needed to see me right away and I said I had to take care of my family first and then she said I should have my prioritys in order. That was it for me and I never saw her again. Now I could look on all of this as a big let down and be angry but I choose to look on it as a learning experience and a good thing, Yes it upset me I was and am kind and sometimes sweetheart people can take kindness for weakness and they all got that wrong. Ive seen friends become bitter at these things in life and its not nice to see there pain, I always say look deep within yourself not at these people as the years have gone ive learned to believe in my abilitys more and my confidence has only grown as I do, This world of ours can be a hard place to be in and you will get let down but never let yourself down its so important you always belive in you. You are not a bad person hunny you are learning and sometimes it appears your not getting anywere but have faith in you and you will, Your bitterness is anger at the way you have been treated which turns into hurt, When only offering kindness dont let other peoples weakness take your strength, I saw my ex mother inlaw get bitter and twisted the older she got the worse it got and she is now a very lonely angry lady who constantly blames others for the life she has to endure. She cant see what good she has as the bad always over shadows it. And she helped me over the years as I never wanted to turn out that way.
There are good people in the world I have many friends who are real friends who I love dearly, Ive been through alot and could be a bitter person, I choose to be the person I am because it makes me happy, Dont be an angry person dont judge others for the way they choose to behave as they are learning as well just move on and you will find people who care, Never stop being the kind giving person you are always have faith in yourself it will get better believe me, You have so much to offer and you are young as time goes on things will change they always do stay possitive hunny always no matter what. WITH LOTS OF LOVE MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): You can meet 1000 more people and get used by all 1000 of them if they're all cut from the same mold.
The simple answer is that for one reason or another, you are making these kinds of people a part of your life much more than average. It could be where/how you meet them, who you attract, what makes you want to keep knowing certain people and not others, who you do & don't put effort into . . . the list goes on and on. The bottom line is that you need to change enough things to change this pattern.
Everyone I've ever met in this category (and I've known more than a few, believe me) absolutely INSISTED that they didn't seek out the problem and it always "just happened" to them. But I thought most of them really did seek it out whether they would admit it to themselves and see things that way or not.
You don't have to WANT to be treated badly for this to happen. You only have to want the people & situations that are too prone to having it as a side effect.
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