A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend told me a few months ago that he used to mess around with guys when he was 15. He said that it was with a few guys and it only lasted for a year or so. I don't know what to think about this? He is kinda feminine and it is always in the back of my head now. Would this lead to him messing around with guys in the future? I asked him if he still felt that way about guys and he told me "No, it was just a phase and it is not right to do those kinds of things." So I don't know what to think? Any advise? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (9 June 2009):
 Bisexual people are fully capable of committing to one person at a time just like straight and gay people do. Unless he actually goes out and cheats on you I would not worry about it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Girls mess around all the time with other girls and still ahve boyfriends. But nobody holds it against them. Why? Because it's "hot?"
That's not exactly fair.
If he didn't like you and he was in love with a man, then he would be with a man.
He had his fun and now he's with you.
Let his past be his past.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Yeah shaniquas3, that's it, we all spread AIDS. Very enlightened. Sounds like the guy has decided he's essentially straight and hasn't touched a man in ten years, but WOW he's got a bit of gay previous, get rid of him girl?
I've never heard anyone advise a guy to get rid of his girlfriend on the basis that she's been with women before and will therefore spread disease and must be dumped ASAP, but then male homosexuality terrifies people way more than nice non-threatening camera-friendly girl-on-girl stuff. Could be a latent terror from the age of AIDS misinformation, I don't know.
Sorry anon OP...my advice would be that if your relationship with your boyfriend is good, there's no reason why his past should be any problem, and all he's done wrong is be honest with you...would you prefer he'd lied about it and kept it secret?
He says it's in the past and isn't going to happen again - in a monogamous happy relationship, that should be good enough, assuming he has absolutely no desire to be with men again, which is clearly the case unless he says otherwise.
Unless BOTH of you are happy for him to try it again, which you probably aren't if it's a really good relationship. But if you both are, nothing wrong with that either.
All depends on how you both feel. Best of luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Having a broader range in sexual interests means just that - having a broader range. Having a broader range does not necessarily mean a person will cheat on you. It just means his intimate opportunities go beyond just the opposite gender.There are two separate factors in your question that you may not be aware of. The first factor is whether he will cheat on you and the second factor is whether he may pursue men.If he is capable of cheating on you, then he will, regardless of his sexual orientation. If your relationship is over with him in the future, he will have the freedom to pursue men or women and this will have absolutely no bearing on you.Ultimately, it all comes down to what you are comfortable with. Not many people are capable of accepting another person's sexual preferences, if they extend beyond the limitations of the opposite gender.Furthermore, regardless of a person's sexual orientation, STD's can be contracted by anyone whom has had a wide experience of sexual partners.
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A
female
reader, shaniquas3 +, writes (9 June 2009):
um yes honey.your guy is GAY.move on.that wasn't a phase,one day or a week is a phase..BUT ONE YEAR!!!!girl u gon mess around and catch aids messin wit him..just keep a eye on him and see if he is lookin at other dudes even a lil bit..or ask him to play a game of truth or dare and ask him TRUTH and THEN ask him would you have a threesome with me and another guy and say you won't get ma..and that will give you the answer..
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