A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How can i know if i'm in a emotionnal affair with my male bff (i've known him for one year)? I adore my boyfriend but i like the attention i get from my bff he listens to me and notices me more than my bf it seems. I'm addicted to it I think like a drug. I don't want to have a romantic relationship with him, i'm not attracted to him physically but we are so much alike and we do have a special bond. One look at me and he knows what i think (like my boyfriend does) He's also bff with my bf we all hang out together. My boyfriend of 17 years is secure and he doesn't mind. My bff doesn't flirt with me and got hurt by ex girlfriends who cheated on him so he wouldn't do the same. Neither would I my boyfriend is my soulmate. But my bff has been single since i've known him and now he met someone, it made me sick to my stomach. He introduced me to her (as his bff) and i was super uncomfortable. I'm just wondering if i'm only possessive of him since i'm the closest girl he had in his life? Did this happened to anyone before? i'm friend with a lot of guys (i'm the girl who's one of the guys) we all hang around the same people. I haven't had a male bff in a looooooong time. My boyfriend is also my bff but he's way more than that. I never been inapropriate with my bff, never said that i would be with him cause we would probably kill each other hehe we both have strong personnalities. It never happened to me in 17 years and i'm confused... Do i only like the attention? I know i am afraid that it will change our friendship when he gets a gf and the gf would probably hate me :-S I don't think he's better than my boyfriend cause he's not. I never wondered if i would choose him or not. The choice is cleared to me. Am i guilty of liking his attention?? Please help :-)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 I think this is just a plain case of jealousy here. Its ok to feel like this though I wouldn't worry about it to much, as you said yourself it is your boyfriend you want to be with not your best friend so don't look to much in to it. Yes I guess because you are used to being the only woman in your best friends life that you are now feeling uncomfortable and feeling threatened that some girl is going to take it away from you. It is a perfectly normal human instinct. But I guess you just need to try and over look it and try and be happy for your friend. Just think that he will have someone to share his life with the way that you have your boyfriend and be happy for him. It sounds to me like you are an important person in his life and am sure you always will be, you just need to learn to share him and let him lead his own private life as well.
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