A
female
age
30-35,
*keez
writes:Ill make this as easy and to the point as I can.Me and my boyfriend have been datin for over 10 months. I love him very much but lately Ive been getting very down and upset becuase he doesnt treat me as he used to. He has a full time job now and it takes up most of his time and I get to see him a few times a week. But lately he has been attending work more than usually. He would come over after work on a Tuesday, happy that I have the evening with him, but then he tells me he has to go back to work at 6. This has happened a few times, and even if he is actually going to work, I dont believe him at all. I feel as though he is trying to get away from me. His day off was this Thursday coming, and i asked him when can I next see him on the Tuesday night and he answered with I dont know. Then he said he would see me on Friday after work. Theres the word again..work. Im feeling very rejected becuase he doenst want to see me on his day off. Im more angry with the fact he cnt een tell me if he wants a dy out with his friends. I would feel better if he actually told me the truth rather than lie to me. And another time when i had finished one of my exams he said he would pick me up, but he text me later telling me he had given his friend a lift coz she couldnt get home. I felt a bit dissapointed but I understood. Then he texts me again sying that he is going to spend the day with his friends. That upset me terribly. We had planned a day out and he turned it away at the last minute. I know it probably doesnt sound liek much at all, but Ive talked to my friends about what he has been doin and how I have felt and they all reckon he is cheating on me, or straying away.I understand he needs to be with his friends, but having to make an excuse up everytime when he doesnt want to see me is really making me depressed. Id rather him just tell me if he wants to go out with his friends. I dont know what to do.My friends tell me that I shouldnt be blaming myself for being hurt, they say that ever when you feel anxious or hurt or feel like somehting is wrong, it most likely is.Please help me, I dont know what to do. should I just not see him for a while untill he starts to realise what he is doing.Or just ignore it.Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): He may not be cheating if hes actualy going to aork. Is there a way of you finding out if that is in fact where hes going? Im 30 and honey its no easier when they are older. Mt b.f. ex dumped him cuz hes was workin to much n spendin time w/ the guys. You'd think by age 30 theyd have it together but some dont. I wont say "your young get over him"...cuz i know thats just not the answer. As hard as it is take sometime apart from him (i know like u need anymore time away) but if u become just as busy with your life maybe that'll wake him up and realize what a good catch you are. Some men have real big egos too and working alot gives them a sence of male pride and accomplishment....but still with workin lots he'd better start coughin up some nice gifts to make up for being selfish n spendin too much time w/ the boys.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): Hi Skeez,
That is by far THE most coincidental relationship I've heard. Seriously, weird. Anyways, I have a 19 year old brother and it sounds like HIM you are describing.
I think you are forgetting to ask the important question. Does he really love you back? Look him in the eyes and see if he will answer honestly.
Maybe it is true that he is busy with other things like work.It sounds like you are a VERY patient and understanding girlfriend, and when you ARE able to see him, its like the time stops and nothing else matters. I think that if you stop seeing him, then he will get the impression that you are not interested in him anymore.
If he was a good boyfriend, he should be aware of what he is doing. Cheating, you'd have to find some hard facts on that one. Straying away, maybe. It takes 2 to make a relationship, and communication would defintly play a huge role in figuring out what the problem is.
hope that helps~!
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