A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I posted this as an answer to someone else with a similar situation, but ended up asking a question instead. My BF was madly in love with me. He'd been separated from his wife for over two years. She'd been living with a guy. He was working on filing the divorce papers. They have two teenagers together. So when she heard about how happy we were and her BF is up for sentencing and possible jail time on drug charges, she started begging my BF (her almost ex) to come back and try again. He sent me an email to break up with me, but it seemed to be saying two things: He was still in love with her and had to try one more time, and he had to close the book on that in order to go forward with me. He asked me to give him some time to fix his unsettled heart. I keep running over everything he said to try to find comfort and wait, or to find a reason to move on--I'm not sure. How often should I reach out and tell him I miss him? How long should I wait? What can I do? I feel like he really needs to finish that and to grieve over the divorce. I don't believe they will ever be able to be together. It's been terrible for him for years before they split. I understand, but it doesn't hurt any less. His stuff is still here and he returns my emails with a couple of words asking for more time. I am torn and leaving my heart open is really hurting me. He can't tell me if he's doing this to have closure with her or to really work things out with her.
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divorce, his ex, move on Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThings took a strange turn this weekend. A friend found his profile up on Match.com and he'd been on there within 24 hours. I feel confused by his actions and I get no answers at all. It's beyond understanding. My friends and family really liked him and thought he was such a good guy. I could understand the ex-wife but now I don't know what was true and what wasn't and why he would ask me to wait at all.
But the good thing is that I will no longer take him back EVER. So it is over.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): It's impossible to put a time limit on this but at least he is not with either of you and is giving it careful thought instead of messing you about.
There's no easy answer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): I know its hard to let go but believe me for your own sanity I think that would be best. I recently went through a similar situation where he kept saying he needed time to work things out didn't know what he wanted. He just kept me in the wings waiting, I finially had to say enough because I felt like I couldn't move fowards or back. He ended up with a complete new women, not me or his ex. So I believe when they keep you on the sidelines like that its just there way of testing out all the waters. You have to know your better than that, I know it hurts its been nine weeks since my split and I still hurt but I couldn't let him treat me second best anymore.
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