A ,
anonymous
writes: My bf has just split up with me because he found out that I did nude modelling and he doesn't like it. How can I get him to trust me again and give me another chance? I am willing to give up the modelling, but he just won't listen and he seems to hate me. What shall I do? I really love him.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly +, writes (13 March 2005):
Not to be too blunt dear, but this guy doesn't sound like he's really worth winning back. Certainly, he's not worth anything as profound as your love.What your boyfriend is doing is punishing you for your own, personal choices. You may enjoy your modelling, or you may not, but that's not the point. He's insisting that you do things his way, and if you're willing to cave in on this point, what makes you think he'll stop? Answer: He won't stop. He'll keep threatening you with leaving you, any time you don't do what he wants you to. So that the next thing you know, he'll be telling you what you can wear, or who you can visit, or when you can go out.People like your boyfriend are power-trippers and they only care about controlling people around them. I promise you that if you do get him back, he'll start getting you more and more under his thumb as time goes by. Do you really want to have someone else deciding where you can work and how you can dress, when you can see your friends, etc?My suggestion is to consider yourself lucky to have lost this particular guy. Ultimately, this means you're free now to find someone who loves you for who you are, and the choices you've made that make you the person you are.Be glad he's gone!
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