A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i became close friends with a guy 3 years ago and helped him loads, financially and wih work. hes always told white lies but thryve become black lies. for example 3 weeks ago he asked me to check his resume on his email and i did but also noticed emails from a girl he said was from the uk but was actually filipino. he was getting payday loans for her and besotted with her but she eventually scammed him. im hurt as ive been helping him financially and didnt know what to think. im ashamed but i looked at a lot more emails-he doesnt know but i was shocked as he told me he was going to ireland and had no money but has got more loans and told me a story that he would have to dip into his holiday fund to help an old ex but really its for him and hes hinting at me lending !!! im so angry as i really just want to tell him ive read the emails but i cant. im ashamed i did but in a way glad as i know whats going on. whats sad is ive helped him every month, never ask him to pay back. also hes distanced himself from me a lot. when i was helping him loads he was very sweet but has become cocky and arrogant. why would he treat me like this and whats the best wayto handle it ? ive also found myself getting paranoid now that he lies. ive no confidence. ive gone ott with texts and emails asking him to explain why he ignores me etc-like he has the upper hand im in turmoil what should i do ?
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (2 July 2011):
 Hi,If you are helping him every month, that means you're making good money? You have enough to support yourself and help this guy. I know you are a good woman for helping a friend and not even expecting money back. Really, when it comes to money? Not even family are willing to help. Also, I am sure you have a good job, so therefore you are smart. Common? Be realist, the truht is in your face. 1) he's not honest with you, so he's NOT a friend! 2) helping a friend in need is very kind of your part, HOWEVER, he's using and giving your HARD EARNING money to this girl you don't even know... My God?He's lying to you now, he'll never change and once the trust is broken its almost impossible to regain.you know what they say: once a cheater always a cheater" once a liar always a liar. You are smart, young and beautiful, inside and out, please end this NOW. The sooner, the better for you and start saving your hard living money.I know that you've been friends for 3 years. Its a long time, many history together, memories and the attachment is the most difficult part, but do yourself a huge favor and be fair to you. You deserve better!!! Don't waste anymore time trying to understand, I know you want him to tell you the truth, but all those things are unrealistic wishes. You and I both know that, a guy that lies, have no integrity, so don't expect him to be honest with you. I know that after all these years, everything you've sacrificed for him, you want some closure, at least him to admit, but reality is that sometimes you just need to be strong and walk away as fast and as soon as possible. Good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2011): If your best girlfriend was in this same situation.....what would you tell her to do? I would drop this dude like a hot potatoe and move on. You've become a easy 'mark' for him, a willing ATM machine, so get yourself together and let this guy go his own way.
I speak from experience. I'm 52 years old now, but when I was in my late teens, I brought a brand new 1977 Cadillac Seville. I used a bevy of women to get money from them on false pretense's. I used and played on females emotions to get not only sex, but their money also. Please don't be a fool. Drop this dude NOW!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011): just to add he is no a boyfriend but was a close friend
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A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (1 July 2011):
i would tell him you don,t want to speak to him ever again that you are not going to used and that you want your money back which he has conned you out of good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011): Get this guy out of your life. Ask yourself just exactly what you were getting here apart from grief!
Surround yourself with some genuine people. You cannot make excuses for people like this, they just are what they are.
Its also not your problem to fix his dishonest life and finances out. You are worth far more than this! Good luck x
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