A
female
age
26-29,
*omana
writes: long story short , i have a boyfriend and another friend but he's a guy. And my boyfriend has problems(he's jealous) with me talking to my friend. I don't think that my friend loves me because we've known each other for like 3 years and he never mentioned anything to me !!!But the thing is i find it emabrcing to ditch my friend when he needs me for help or advice just to satisfy my boyfriend i tried to make them talk or meet but my boyfriend refused.... so any ideas ???
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female
reader, candy00s +, writes (27 May 2007):
If your relationship with your guy friend is innocent then your boyfriend should trust you enough and not see your friend as a threat.If your boyfriend doesnt want to meet your friend then you cant make him, but i dont see you should have to stop being friends with him to suit you boyfriend either.You cant let your fella tell you who you can and can't be friends with.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2007): hey i am kinda goin thru this same kinda situattion here where my gf wont stop spendin time with her so called ''friend'' and hardly spends time with me idk if three is not good for friendships or if she is feelings 4 him but i think he should just get over it since u & the other guy are just friends not bf and gf
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A
male
reader, sleepyhollow +, writes (25 May 2007):
Generally speaking you have to keep them apart.
Do not discuss your "guy friend" with your "boyfriend" and vice versa. Neither of them probably want to hear about the other.
Your boyfriend is just going to have to trust you. If he can't, it may be time to break up with him. Trust is an essential component of relationships, and if he can't trust you, then he has a serious problem with you. His lack of trust speaks volumes of his opinion of you, deserved or undeserved.
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A
male
reader, Uncle_J +, writes (25 May 2007):
I personally am going through this myself right now but from the BF's side of it. Here's what i've gathered from what i'm feeling. Guys know guys better than woman do. For the most part, one in a guy/girl friendship wants more and sometimes it takes years to come out. If you love your BF why would you do anyhting that would hurt him? You probably are saying to the screen right now "I'm not doing anything to hurt him" and i'll reply to this now. Everyone has different insecurities and they hurt when they're exploited or tested. The point is that everyone's are different and in a relationship you must accept a person for who they are entirely and be soothing to there needs. If he's a good BF and is uncomfortable, make the needed changes to kill his suffering that you are causing him. Why would you let someone you love hurt because of your actions? Even if you don't understand them, this is what a relationship is about - Comprimise and balanced adjusting.
If you were approached to chose your BF or your guy friend, who would you chose? There's your answer...
Nobody's perfect. True love is being understood and accepted selflesly. If both are on the same wave length, you have yourself a healthy relationship. Obviously if it's one sided over and over again where you bend and adjust and BF doesn't, you now have an unhealthy relationship.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Bittersweet +, writes (25 May 2007):
I would have to say is your boyfriend is uncomfortable with it, he may grow insecure about the guy. Maybe it's best that you don't introduce them and keep them two separate relationships. It can just create grief later.
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