A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is 7 years older than me and we’ve been together for 2 years. He’s been promoted at work and travels a lot. He says he misses me and loves me and he’s working hard so we can get married but when he’s away he calls very little and when he comes home he seems preoccupied or keeps himself busy with hobbies and sport. The last time he was with me he got calls from a woman whom he says is a work colleague but it’s 8 at night. He doesn’t pay me much attention. He makes me feel as if I might as well not even be there. His actions seem to say the opposite of his words.If we have a disagreement he will speak harshly to me, not the way you talk to someone you love (even if you’re angry) or tell me not to sulk or bother him because he has enough stress already. He won’t discuss problems or solutions – just stonewalls or tells me I can’t always have my own way.This is so different from how he used to behave – he used to call me just to say how much he loves me, or talk for an hour on the phone. I still call, buy gifts, take him to the airport, all sorts of things but it all seems one sided now.I don’t know whether it’s just the relationship that’s starting to go wrong or if he has a lot of problems and it’s stress (he has big problems with maintenance and access to kids with ex) or maybe he’s seeing or wanting to see someone else.My question is how to figure out what the problem is because he doesn’t seem to want to tell me or discuss it.
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male
reader, King of Boxing  +, writes (21 June 2011):
I don't know, he could either be stressed from work or somethin, but honestly if hes putting no time aside to see u after his business trips or whatever u shld speak to him about it, and be firm back with him, show him that ur serious abt it, and stand ur ground, I mean I wouldn't get any friends involved because this is a more private affair, to me it seems like u need to make it clear that this needs to be discussed, or its just goin to be a crash and burn.
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