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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of 7 months and I are going through a tough time. We are both final year students at university and recently i had a very surprising, nasty row with my housemate- due to the stress and personal nature of this i caled off the relationship with my boyfriend but then changed my mind and now we are back together. However, since our very short 2 day split he has been acting differently, being more cold and openly critical towards me. I have had feelings in the past that he might be seeing the housemate who started a massive row with me (which was over something minor) and since then everyone in the house has turned against me. Now it seems my boyfriend is following suit. Trouble is, I really, really do love him, but i don't feel it from him right now. I can understand if he is angry about my confused decisions, but he didn't even attempt to fight for me, which i admit, subconsciously, is what i wanted as a sign he loved me as much as he makes out. He constantly says he loves me and that he is 'different from the rest' and that he wants to look after me. Yet another thing worth adding is that he is a very serious training actor, and i get the feeling sometimes he is just saying what i want to hear. I really don't know whether to go with my instincts and admit to myself he no longer loves me, although i really love him and am afraid to death of losing him and being alone and directionless, with no house. Furthermore, these instincts that he is not being faithful are surely worth listening to? And yet he tells me I need to believe him. PLease can you give me what you would deem a 'logical' over view of this situation? I have never experienced long term jealousy issues in my past relationships.
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reader, lil_hot_mamma1984 +, writes (23 June 2005):
Hi just here to let you know I have been there before.My roommates and I got into an argument and me and my b/f split. I thought I would be completely heartbroken we were together for 2 yrs as well. That was my home and I lost it. I thought my life would fall apart, but even though I had no home, no b/f,and nothing else to keep me happy,I felt better than I ever had in my life.See he didn't fight for me either.My point is if you don't feel he really loves you with all his heart chances are he doesn't.Men aren't mushy we all know that but you know when they love you. You can feel it they try as hard as they can to make sure you know it everyday b/c men aren't open about emotions and when they find someone they really do love they'll do anything in their power to keep from loosing it.So before you let yourself go through trouble ask yourself (does he show me that he loves me?If this situation occured again would he fight for me this time?and most of all Do I feel I am the only one he wants?)If not again chances are you're right.Just make sure to weigh out the pros and cons of this relationship before you put anymore of your heart into it.Good Luck!!!
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