| A
female
,
*vanna22
writes: Hi, please help. I'm very depressed right now cuz my boyfriend just broke up with me. He said that now that he's going back to school he needs to do good and that being in a relationship will just make his grades go down. I asked him why he didn't tell me this before and he said that he didn't know his schedule was gonna be like this. He said that even though we're not going out anymore he still wants me in his life and that he loves me and has feelings for me. He said that we shouldn't go out or hook up for a while so that things between us can work out later on. I told him in the begining that I don't like hanging out with ex boyfriends just as friends especially when i'm not over them yet. I went to his apartment last night to see if when he sees me he realises things and asks me out again but nothing. So when I was leaving he said: Fine, I guess u really don't wanna hang out with me and I started crying cuz the reason why I left was because I was very upset. When he saw me crying he felt bad and told me that he didn't want me to leave yet so he took me back to his apartment. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend again and said: I'm just telling u now that i'm gonna be really busy and that sometimes i won't be able to see u and i don't wan u to feel like i'm ignoring u cuz i need to get work done and I said ok. Then he didn't look very happy and I said: i'm not stupid I know there's something wrong. I don't want u to ask me out just cuz u feel bad. So then he said that he just can't be in a relationship cuz of school right now. I missed the last bus and it was about 12:00 am so it was really dangerous and cold out and i was gonna be home in a hour so he told me I should sleep over so I did. He was trying really badly to have sex with me all night but I told him that he said he wants to be friends so we'll be friends and that i'm not gonna wait for him to ask me out again and that i'm gonna start seeing other guys. He said he didn't like that and that he wasn't gonna see anyone else besides me. I told him that he can't expect sex from me if he doesn want to commit and that HE was the one who said that we shouldn't hook up and stuff for a while. I don't know what to do, he said that he does want me in his life but it seems like he wants companionship without commitment. What should I do? Should I just forget about him? Oh!, one more thing. When we were still going out we were talking about bad things we've done in the past and I told him that I always had two boyfriends and that I always cheated. He told me yesterday that he does think i'm gonna cheat on him. Any advice about this long story?
View related questions:
broke up, depressed, got back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Manya  +, writes (17 January 2007):
It kinda sounds like a confusing situation -- he still wants you in the picture, tries to be physical, but doesn't want commitment. You still seem to care for him a lot, but want commitment meanwhile telling him that you always had two boyfriends in the past, although now, you seem to want just one, him, just as he is freaked out by potential school workload!
Maybe I'm just sort of summarizing, but. You both need to step back from the relationship for a week or two and make a list(?) of where you are in your life, and communicate further to understand more truths. Does this help?
What do they say, confront your demons and who knows, sometimes breakups
can indicate that the relationship is serious if later the couple reunites.
A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (17 January 2007):
 It is up to you what kind of relationship you have.
If you want a relationship with commitment then find another guy. Or ask him to come to you when he has decided to be committed, if you are still single that is!
IMPORTANT:never let a guy see you cry when you end a relationship, you do not want him to take you on out of pity. It is naughty of him to try to have sex with you knowing that you are vulnerable and missed the bus.
Until he is ready to give you what you what in a relationship tell him to keep his pants on!
...............................
|
