A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It all started when i was in 7 grade i had this big crush on this guy name Adam. we would flirt all the time! oh how he gave me the butterflies! we had very little classes in school together and we never saw each other out of school! but it was ok it was only 7 grade we keep our just flirting friendship until the 9th grade! When we had a little more freedom to see each other and didn't seem like a little crush anymore.. dating him was amazing everyday would be better then the next! He was a lot of my first times! he was my first real boyfriend! and I know it sounds like awwe it was her first love that's how its suppose to be.. but its not like that.. i broke up with him because I was told to by my parents we were getting to close and serious... he was heart broken .. the whole school knew about it was this big giant shock for everyone! I felt awful! but what could I do? So that summer I ended up moving to another town which was only 10mins from the last one but being kids that couldn't drive or talk on the phone that was like a million miles away! So we both started dating other people . One after the other they fell thru.. we would keep in touch when we both got cell phones and our own cars.. we had a good friendship I never stop caring for him and he clearly never stop loving me either! But my parents would never let us be together and we both knew that so we continued to date other people. In the 11 grade I decided I would be stupid and have sex for the first time.. stupid me ends up becoming a prego!... i was embarrassed stopped talking to everyone and was kicked out of my house and was forces to move in with my sister from another state. I had the baby.. keep little contact with everyone...Graduation came up for my friends I went back home to see it and while talking to them I hear this voice that just gives me butterflies and the chills I look behind me and there he was Adam in the flesh! I swear my face turn as red as his robe! My knee gave a little.. we talked for a few and then his parents pulled him away for pictures!.. he ran back and gave me a hug told me he missed me !...my heart was racing... I drove back home(other state). I had to return a few weeks later for the birth of my best friends baby aka my god son!..I called him .. it was his birthday and I had his number still memorized I thought if they had changed it I wasn't meant to get a hold of him... but he picked up.. my heart drops! I asks him to come to my hotel to talk.. which he did I told him everything.. Adam and I could keep very little from each other.. he knew everything already but he let me tell my story anyways. things just felt right so a kiss was given and one thing led to another.. I went back home knowing I had a boyfriend in another state but he wasn't going to be there for long.. he was moving about 2 hours from where I did so he could go to school!.. he would visit all the time it felt like we had a little family it was perfect! school ended for him and he was offered a job in his home town I encourage him to take it was an amazing offer! ..When he moved back home things for us started going bad.. ending up with a break up... but we stayed friends... I feel sick and had to move out of my place so my son and I could be taken care of.. I moved in with my sister boyfriends family... for a little I had planned to move back to my home town and surprising Adam with the move.. but all my plans fell thru.. so i never left...My sister would always give me advice about me and Adam all the time! Which i thought was very helpful! Adam decided that he love me enough to quite his job and move here! with me .. he was very stressed here all the time! So I would call me sister about it and she would tell me what I should do but things just keep getting worst... finally we broke up again! it was heart breaking I cried for weeks! He moved back to his hometown.. it took us awhile to be ok with each other .. about 5 months later i decided i should try to date... which i did and about this time my sister and her boyfriend weren't doing so well they have been together for five years! Now and she didn't want to marry him of have a kid with him even tho she already had 2 kids form 2 different guys in short relationships. but whatever.. she and him ended things by her cheating on him by then he had enough...then there was so much drama around the house.. I was involved for awhile but took myself out of it because it was stressing me out to much going back and forth everyone one wanting to know everything from each other using me as the middle man.. I was done... so i decided to take my sister on a trip with me..to my hometown where I meet up with some of my friends at my hotel room which I paid for. I had driven all that day which makes me very sleepy but i fought thru it.. My friend and I took a tiny trip across the street in her car because i didn't want to drive leaving my son and her daughter and my sister at the hotel. Where my sister met two guys and invited him back to my room! On the way back from our tiny trip my friend runs a red light and gets us hit on my side of the car my leg was messed up! After dealing with all that I call Adam to come over! As i walk into my room there are two strange guys in my room! A little weird none of them were cute at all! lol well o well... I took two shots so the pain of my leg would go away(from when we got it) I was getting sleepy .. my sister told me she was going to talk to Adam about how much he broke my heart.. I was like cool what an amazing sister I have to let him know all this... Adam gets there and my sister leaves me with theses guys all by myself while I was bang up tired and she ditch them soo they would get the hint to leave she didn't like them.. she said they weren't worth her time she was better then them I felt bad for them.. I talked to them for about 30mins.. and then told them I was going to bed because of the day I had... they left and I end up falling asleep 3 hours later my sister comes back wakes me up asks me if i want to go swimming! I said no i was soo tired! and i wasn't getting out of bed! So about 5 o clock in the morning I hear this phone go off its not mine... its Adam i was like what the heck i look over to my sister bed its empty? so i walk downstairs and look everywhere they are no where in site...? about 30 mins later my sister comes up i asked her where she was she tells me downstairs i told i looked... she then again said she was down there i figure i was soo tired that i just over looked her... I then realize Adam wasn't with her.. she goes downstairs to get him i give him his phone and he looks soo mad and wants to cry he didn't say much to me.... he left ... i went home two days later he said he didn't want to talk to me anymore... i was soo confused.. i asked my sister what happen that night she said all they did was talk.. and he said he realize a few things.. and he was just done..I was mad at her.. and him... but I realize its a guy I cant be mad at my sister for anything she didn;t do anything...so i take her out to dinner.. and other stuff.. With in a few months I even let her watch my son so that she can get some extra money for the house since her x wasn't there anymore was paying her over the amount i should have i was paying for two bad kids.. for my one not so bad kid..i had to make another trip to my hometown.. i invite her because i didn't want to go alone..and about this time she has met a few friends... she tells me she wants go out with one of them i think nothing of it i help her pick out a sexy outfit! and let her borrow some of my clothes! she is gone until 3 am.. which was great.. the next night she wants to go out again i thought it was amazing! she ends up staying all night and half the day with this guy name Michael and we made those funny little joke such as you tired him out didn't you. and she came back out with some funny sayings.. the next night i wanted to go out soo she let me she watch my son for me! :D so i could we she told me i could come back until 2.. because i never get to go out and i always come back sooner because i don't like leaving my son! She I thought that was really cool!..we went home my sister and I had many more outing around our area.. not my hometown I spent lots more money on her and her daughters!.. which was kind of normal!.Out of no where Adam text me on my birthday tells me happy birthday.. and tells me i cant tell anyone we are talking ... because no one need so know what he is doing.. I was thinking drugs the way he was talking... he said that i couldn't even say anything to my best friend not even my sister and i tell my sister everything... soo that was a big deal!...I took my sister to the mall .. about a week later told her about everything I was feeling towards Adam that i still think things could work out and I even dream about marrying him and having little Adam babies!..and then we talked about some other stuff.. she became very irritated...i didn't know what that was about... then about month later i read on my sister facebook about butterflies i was soo happy for her!My sister asked me for money .. she was down to her last bucks...and well paying her over babysitting money made me kind of low with cash...so i gave her a fifty.. so she had 75 to keep her for 2 weeks.. which wasn't much but i bought her food for her house.. and her bills didn't come until next month.. so i figure she would be ok..i am now planning to move back to my home town... my sister wants to come to all of a sudden she said she needs out of this town .. a new fresh start.. i was all for it!.. Then one night Adam calls me. late at night i was sleeping i don't call him back iIthought it might be an oops call... then a few days later my sister calls me .. sounds like she feels lonely... and she like you know what I want to get married.. I was I better be there for the wedding! scratch that I better be in the wedding and she goes and it doesn't matter who it is.. and i say as long as its not any of my x and differently if its not Adam... she said what that's kind of funny Adam has been sending me a few emails only three about how much he likes me... i was in shock i ask her nicely not to go there she said i figure as much i wouldn't do that to you :D A few days goes by i wake up and look at my phone Adam called again.. i figured he wanted to yell at him i text him saying sorry that i missed his call and he text back we need to talk.. I figure he wanted to tell me about the emails..so I let him call.. turns out.. the night of the car hitting me my sister took him outside to tell him i don't love him anymore that I will never love him and he needs to move on and she kisses him... they go out to dinner and talk more she talks about her x and he talks about me she talks more about her x and they end up having sex.. that's y i couldn't find them.. at the hotel .. that's why he looked like he hated me and y he looked like he hated.. Michael.. was Adam.. I felt stupid and played and felt like she was making fun of me because all the stupid side jokes... the night I went out he came over and saw my son .. left before he woke up because my son would have knew who he was. my sister wanted to move in with me was just a way for her to get her stuff to ohio so she could try to move in with adam.. adam has a big heart can be pulled hard by his heart.. but he should have thought how this would effect me.i not saying he isn't guilty of things but he was really missed lead by my sister.. how could she lie to me so much and do this to me knowing that I still love him? how can she say all those mean and all those lies about me! What am I suppose to do now? I still move him and he told me everything because he still loves me.. he didn't know about all the lies.. expect the ones that were told to me.. how am I suppose to get over this .. how am I suppose to forgive her? I don't think I can she has been bashing me and lying about things I did. I never lied to Adam and if I have he knows when I do we just know each other that much. I still love him but I don't think I am suppose to forgive him for this.. it could be my heart thinking unreasonable... by I know my sister Adam has money in his family ... it never mattered to me..but it matters to my sister she is just going to use him for that ...I think she is going to use him to get ahead in life.. she is 8 years older then him...she already took him for about 2,000 already.. and she tells him she wants to marry him and have a kid with him and want him to move to Arizona which is on the other side of the united states from his hometown.. he tell me he is scared of all of it..I just don't know what to do or where to go from here? Do I throw away 10 years of feelings for him? I need help. with Adam and my sister what am I suppose to do?
View related questions:
a break, best friend, broke up, crush, drugs, facebook, flirt, money, move on, moved in, text, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso it turns out like this
my sister won over the guy i love..
he started talking to me every day on daily random stuff telling me he wasnt telling her. then telling me these really hurtful things she was telling him.. but i would push it aside and talk about more random things.
i started talking to my mother and she told me this has happen before and she was surpised. i was shocked to hear that from her. i guess she did something like this before
on mothers day my mother gets an email and a call.. with really hurtful words and pretty much saying im was lying about everything and that i was trying to steal her man. and that i did all this stuff.. which i hadnt..
this is when i relized that steve didnt really love me.. it hurt alot! he was doing all of this and she was doing the drama part .. at this time i realized that both of didnt love me.. just the drama and the thrill of doing something wrong.. and the secret of having a hot thrilling realationship/sex behind other people backs..
i then tell the man i love that i dont want to talk to him anymore that i understand that he wants to be with my sister( which is not claiming to be my sister anymore) and i hope them all the best !
two weeks later my mother calls me telling me that my sister is now telling them that my mother was trying to steal her man now and how we are just dirty people.. my first thought was.. if he is that easy to job ship? then why keep him around should be able to trust your man! she said a lot of hurt full things to her other side of her family about me and my mother... its very sad:(
ever since then i have been really busy.. but a slight memory of him brings a tear to my eye and an ache to my heart
i just found out today he drove from the state he lives in to the state my sister and i live in to see her.. and he was spotted driving the van around. that hurt so much.. people asked if i cared but for them to know that i still care.. would just make them worry more about me.. and i rather not have that.. i just dont know what to do how am i suppose to get over this heart ache.. oh
on top of all that you know facebook right?
my sister has two daughters ones 11 and other is 9 in august well her oldest has a facebook she was a friend on there and she send me an chat box saying she isnt allowed to talk to me anymore and the next day she is blocked :( it tore my heart out? the only thing i can think of doing is talking to her father because she lives with him .. about being able to talk to her.. i lost a sister and my two nieces! my heart hurts soo much i love those girls soo much...
i dont know what to do about this heart ache i dont know what to think i dont want to lose my nieces but i dont know how to do it the right way i need help again!
A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (25 March 2011):
 It was very wrong for your sister to sleep with Adam knowing how you still felt about him. What probably happened is that you talked about him so much to your sister, how wonderful he was, how sweet and great he was and how much you loved him that your sister got mixed up emotionally. She started to think and feel about him the same way as you did. And some where along the way, she began to want him for herself. So when she saw her chance she took it and tried to hide it from you, knowing that you would feel betrayed by her deceit. As anyone would.So what should you do? Well first I would tell my sister how bad she hurt you and how low that was for a sister to do that to you. Not just sleeping with him but the lies she told him. Then I would put a little distance between myself and her for awhile until I felt she had learned her lesson, apologized for her actions, and was truly remorseful. But she is your sister, so eventually you will probably have to forgive her. Just don't share your love life with her so much anymore.As for Adam, well he didn't sleep with her until she ripped his heart out that night by telling him you didn't love him and never would. Sounds like alcohol was probably involved too. So it is kind of understandable how he might have reacted that way out of hurt and anger. I mean your sister totally played him and it worked... But once he sobered up and had time to think about it, he realized he had made a huge mistake. And told you the truth about what happened.So I think I could forgive him as long as he would swear he never wanted to go near your sister again and had zero feelings for her. As for getting him back, well it could work out if you and Adam both want it too bad enough to try again with a fresh start. But that's up to you. If you can't forgive him, then you might as well forget him and move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, kaykay1989  +, writes (24 March 2011):
 Oh Gosh! Sorry to hear this has happened. You NEED to confront your sister about this and ask her why she did this to you when she knew how much you loved him. 2nd of all she shouldn't of lied to him don't get me wrong but he didn't need to pursue anything with her some boundaries shouldn't be crossed and he crossed it by having a relationship with your sister.Time is a great healer and it isn't going to be easy to get over him. He said he's scared of this move and probably how fast things are moving but he can say something to her. You may be tempted to tell him that your sister is a gold digger but it may just push them closer together.Whether you forgive your sister is up to you. Bloods thicker then water and all that but I personally don't think I would be able to. Good Luck xoxoxox
...............................
A
female
reader, amenthyst3356 +, writes (24 March 2011):
Tell Adam the truth, that you have never stopped loving him. Break all contact with your sister no matter if you both lose Adam let him live his life. Good luck!
...............................
|
