A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I found out that my boyfriend of 3 years had been texting girls and joined a mobile chatsite this isn't the first time. The messages were all sex related which hurt me really bad. I confronted him and told him he either stops or leaves. He has promised that he only did it out of boredom when not at work and that he loves me and does not want to lose me. I am trying really hard to trust him but in the back of my mind I still feel betrayed and worried. Our baby is due very soon and I am terrified that he will still do this when the baby is here. I do love him and the baby was planned, his suggestion. I feel like it is my fault, that I am not good enough. I don't know what to do? Could it happen again? Has anyone else had this happen? What did you do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
I had a similar thing happen when I was pregnant with my daughter, So I understand the pain you are in expecially while pregnant and not feeling your most sexy as that can have a big knock on affect to your self asteem hunny.
He has to realise what he has done and how hurtfull this is to you, It not like he has been looking at a few sex mags its talking with other women which is much more personal, where these chatsites with random women looking for men for sexual meetings or the kind of chatsites that the women are paid to talk and act sexual? If its the first then that is basicly saying he is looking hopefully its the second as these women are paid to talk and act in a certain way to make money. Not that this is any easier for you far from it but if he were looking for dates then I would be thinking am I with the right person. If he were paying Id still feel very hurt and let down as he really should be there for you right now and not getting bored as you have a beautiful baby on the way. You need to sit with him and explain how this has made you feel, Being pregnant your emotions are all over the place and things like this need to be adressed as you wont feel happy untill you feel satisfied with the reasons behind it all.
Never put yourself down never think you are not worth anything over something like this you are and always have been worth so very much, dont let this make you feel less than you really are. Yes its not nice and yes its a shock but its not something you cant get past believe me ok. What you need right now is answers and not the I was bored as that says nothing other than he cant find more interests than what he has been doing and thats rubbish, You need to feel that this relationship is worth working for with your child coming along its a two way thing. You dont have to argue this out it can be spoken about rationally without any raised voices as that wont get both of you anywere, I do hope you feel better soon just remember not to put yourself down you are a beautiful young woman with alot to offer and you need to be strong and have faith in you WITH LOTS OF LOVE AND HUGS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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