A
male
age
26-29,
*imeErased
writes:I've Been Gay since I was 6, I use to hate it and it made me very depressed and an anti-social in school. Im comingto the realization that I will never be straight no matter what, and im kind of accepting my homosexuality....I wanna grow to love it and myself, so I can live again and notbe so depressed and lonely. Im plan to come out this school year. What's the best way to come out wiout freaking people out and having a slight possibility of keeping my same friends.....or you can just give me ANY advice. Please help me....I LONG for HAPPINESS again. :(
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (4 August 2011):
Hello again. Well, the ice is partly broken as some of your family already knows.
So there's a bit of a load off your mind.
Just wait for a time when you are with your friends - not in a crowded bar or any place like that. Leave it for when you are visiting with them at one of their houses.
You can tell them in the way that I was saying before. You could say the exact same thing.
It is then up to them to totally accept you for who you are - or not. If they are true friends, they will accept you no matter what. The same goes for your father.
Anyone who chooses not to accept it, well it's their loss not yours.
Do it as soon as you can.
The longer you delay telling them, the more difficult it will seem.
A
male
reader, TimeErased +, writes (2 August 2011):
TimeErased is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the advice everyone.....sorry I forgot to include that I Already told My Mom, brothers and sister....My problem is my friends and the outside world, along with my dad. I will try these ideas and hope they work. If there's any more advice you want to add then please do so. Thanks again :))))
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A
male
reader, Jamessehhh!  +, writes (2 August 2011):
hey there (: first of all, you not to accept your self before anyone else can, once you have accept your self its time to come out! :O Inmu opinion the best people to tell first are girls that are very good friends to you, thy wont care, besides most girls want a gay bestfriend! :D once some girl(s) know tell any other close friends, boys or girls! When your friends know its a great feeling! when comfortable tell your mum, there easier to talk to! then gradualy tell the rest of your family when your comfortable! Also, your mu
will probably have reasons to think you're gay, mothers can suspect these things! ;O dont be scared of what other people are gonna say, there will always be someone to put you down an say stuff, its life just dont give them a reaction! If your friends disown you then they were never true friends and be gla to get rid of them while your young! hope this helps dude, let us know how you get on! (:
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A
female
reader, Gay Agony Help +, writes (2 August 2011):
Honesty to yourself is the best thing. You used words like "think I'm ready" and "kind of accepting my homosexuality". The truth is, you HAVE to ready and you HAVE to have come to terms with it yourself before you can expect anyone else to. You need to know what you want. Personally, I found it easier to come out as a bisexual. I guess I thought it would soften the blow! You have to just do what you feel is right. Hope I have helped!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): Well all you can do is tell them. It must be pretty suffocating for you to keep such a big part of you life secret. However you have to realize that coming out will lead to a lot of hardships since some people won't accept you for who you are, maybe even your own family, but stay strong.You don't have to call a big house meeting a tell, you tell them individually at different times, maybe you could tell you sister first, or your dad. Knowing that somebody else knows before everybody else can help to put you at ease.The same for your friends, and, anyone who refuses to be your friend afterwards really wasn't, no mater how dear you thought they were. A true friend may not support what you do but they should support you.Also, you can go to church and get some guidance. God works in many ways. Give him a chance, maybe you could talk to a pastor or a christian a school. You never knowAll the best and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (2 August 2011):
Hi there. The very first thing for you to do, is to totally accept yourself for who you truly are.
Once you accept and respect yourself unconditionally, everyone else in the world will also.
The first people to tell ideally, would of course by your immediate family - Mum, Dad, brothers and sisters, grandparents.
This is if they don't know it already, and I suspect you are saying this aren't you?
Just one night after dinner, if your whole family is there make an announcement to them.
Say something like - "Mum, Dad, (names of your siblings), I have something to tell you, that's really important to me. I've known about it since I was 6 years old. I've been putting it off and putting it off ever since.
"The reason was, I didn't know until now, if it was true or not. I now know that it's not going to change, so I have to accept it to be completely happy in my life, and I hope you will also. I'm gay."
It might come as a shock, or it might not. However, the most important thing here, is total honesty. It's so much of a burden off your shoulders, not having to carry around a secret all the time, just because you are afraid of people's reactions. If you accept it, they will too.
Then when you feel the time is right, tell all your friends in the very same way.
Whether you are gay or straight, who cares? Whose business is it anyway? It doesn't change you in any way, you are the same person inside your heart as you have always been. Don't ever be ashamed of who you are. Be proud.
It's a much healthier option to be totally honest with yourself, than go around all the time pretending to be someone else. That is very unhealthy indeed. You deserve happiness.
Don't delay telling your family, one single day longer.
Just pick a good time, when everyone is there and is going to be home all night.
Best wishes.
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