A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I’ve known my “best friend” for six years now. From the moment we met each other we were inseparable. We hung out every day, lived together for two years, and were closer than sisters. Our boyfriends have always had this weird thing about us being friends, because they could see we were so close, and they’d always get jealous. I even broke up with a boyfriend of 1.5 yrs because he gave me the ultimatum it was either her or him… I chose her. Well, about a year ago she met a guy and fell in love. We had another really close friend who hated her new boyfriend and was very vocal about it. As a result, he asked my best friend not to hang out with the other girl anymore. She chose him over that friend and stopped talking to her even though they had known each other for 7 years (and only knew the boyfriend 1 month). Her and I still hung out a lot, but it was getting weird. We started fighting a lot (for the first time in our friendship), mostly because I didn’t like the way she was treating our other friend or me. She’d constantly make plans with me and cancel at the last minute. Things went on like that for awhile, until now, when I haven’t actually seen her in 4 months. We’ve talked on the phone and stuff, but she won’t actually make plans with me. I recently found out from someone she works with that it’s because her boyfriend told her he didn’t want her to see me anymore! It really doesn’t make any sense. He's just jealous, and doesn’t want her to have any friends except for him and his family. I am so hurt, and don’t know what to do. After all I’ve gone through with this girl, she chose a boy over our friendship. To make matters worse… I’m five months pregnant and getting married in the summer. My best friend was supposed to be my maid of honor, and the godmother to my child. But she hasn’t even seen me once throughout my whole pregnancy. It just really breaks my heart. I know I have to let go at this point, but I don’t know how. I miss her, and thinking about all the good times we had together just sucks. How do I let go?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): Thank you so much for your input! Hahaha, the funny thing is, yes, I thought her boyfriend and I got along rather well. But he is a big control freak, and I know it's just going to get worse for her. It's just sad there's nothing I can do. I wish it were as easy as saying me and her should just hang out, but he won't allow it. It's been her choice not to hang out anymore. I keep asking, but I'm sick of asking now. I've been going out and reconnecting with old friends, and making new ones... but it's hard remembering her because she was the best friend I had ever had. It's just weird.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (29 January 2008):
 The boyfriend sounds a bit control-freaky. Do you and he get along? It's hard to find other couples where you both mesh, often one person doesn't like someone in the group. If I were you, I'd drop talking about your other friend and try to maintain a friendship between you and she, without her boyfriend. All you can do is try. She might need a friend in the future. Friendships do come and go over the years. I'm just a bit concerned that he might have the personality of a potential abuser, so don't cut her off just incase she needs you. I'm sorry that you are hurting, it's hard to lose a friend.
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