A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'v been very stupid and already im regretting it!!My best friend split up with this guy that she absolutly loved in november because he treated her badly and then soon after in february she started going out with this guy that she met at work.He fell in love with her but she never felt the same about him,she tried to but just ended up cheating on him many times with her ex. He found out about it and ended the realationship about a month ago. I knew he had always kinda liked me throughout their relationship and I tried to keep well away from him because i mildly liked him aswell, but since their split we have been talking on msn and he asked to meet up with me but i refused because of her many times!He then spoke to her about it (i was in the room with her at the time but he didnt no that)and she told him she was fine with it and didnt mind. Then more recently we talked about it and each time she has told me that she wouldnt mind.So yesterday i met up with him... But just before i met him i was guna turn back and go home because i felt so bad but she rang me and i told her everything and asked her repeatitivly if she was fine with it and she told me she was.It was only when I got home that I found out that she had talked to some other people in the pub last night and had been mouthing off to them about it. Iv text her saying sorry if she did have a problem with it and i wont see him again if she wants but i dont think shes talking to me :,(I dont no wot to do ... I love her so much and she means everything to me and she knows i would never do anything i thort would hurt her and wish i hadnt already!!!Please, im so scared, what can i do to save our friendship???
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female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (2 August 2009):
 I would say that your friend is more upset with herself than you. She clearly gave you the red light then obviously regretted her decision. She has only herself to blame. I would give her a bit of breathing space for a while.
I will say though from experience that it is never a good idea to go out with your best friends ex or their old boyfriend because whatever they may say deep down they don't really like it, close friends never really want to share anyone intimately even if they have finished with them years before.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): She created this problem in the first place, by lying about her approval! Maybe in her eyes it was some kind of test to see if you really would go through with meeting up with him? Or she thought she would be ok with it until after, but if this was the case then she wouldn't have gone mouthing off to other people about it. Tell her that you only met up with him because she said it was ok, but that if she didn't lie then you two wouldn't be falling out with it. If she still doesn't listen then I would give her a little while to calm down about it. She only has herself to blame! But what I want to know is... why would you want to go out with someone that treated your friend badly? Personally I'd be wary he'd do the same with me.
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