A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Recently my best friend got a boyfriend [her first boyfriend] and she spends a lot of time with him, which i don't mind. But it just seems that i'm being left behind, we're best friends, live really near to each other and have are really close.I just feel like we're drifting away from each other, i don't really have any other friends that i'm that close to. I feel so alone and i'm really depressed lately.What can i do to feel like i'm not losing her?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (25 February 2011):
Ah, I had that problem when I was your age. My now ex best friend was stuck up her boyfriend's rear, it got to the point of where I couldn't stand him and blamed him for taking her away from me. Long story short, I tried to talk to her about it and she got all defensive..sadly we grew apart.
The only thing you can do is have a chat with her, remind her of who you are and you would still like to spend some time with her. Hopefully, she honors your requests to not forget about you. If she gets defensive and defends time with her boyfriend, then it's best to hang out with your other friends..or start making new ones. Unfortunately, this type of thing happens all the time.
A
female
reader, xxblueangelxxx +, writes (25 February 2011):
Try to plan things with her in advance, tell her that you've missed spending so much time with her. Really talking about it is best, and since you're really close she should understand. I would recommend keeping away from saying that she spends too much time with her boyfriend, that could make her defensive. Just say you'd like to spend more time with her, when is she free etc. I'm guilty of abandoning some of my friends while in a relationship before and it took a close friend getting mad at me for me to realize what I was doing (however I was originally extremely angry at her because instead of explaining that she felt left out/abandoned she instead said I was being selfish and annoying). People dont want to lose their friends but relationships take time and I'm sure she's just busy and distracted, so talking to her will definitely help that.
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