A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey everyone,this isn't much of a relationship question, but somewhat.My best friend in the whole world just commited suicide! i couldnt get to his house to help him and talk to him because i am pregnant, this is extreamly stressfull and im having a really hard time, my pregnancy has had many problems and although the baby is healthy i dont know if i can take this. i dont know what to do about the stress
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry i havent checked this in a while.... i went to his funeral.... just seeing him lay there, in the coffin.... i couldnt even talk... someone else read my notes, i could barely breath... but no im not going to a doctor or anything i dont care.... im to close to having this baby and i dont have the money for it with the baby comming.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess... I'm not writing anything, if they want me to speak, I'll speak, but I'm speaking what's on my mind that very second whether it's about him or not. I don't know, it's not that I don't want to go, I want to go and support him. I don't want to be crying and being told I have to go. It's like 4am, I still can't sleep and now my doctor is warning me I might lose the baby to stress. I can't take it any more! I want to just bitch slap and be like WTF ARE YOU THINKING?! this didn't solve anything! I wish I could have been there. I just wish I get that chance again! I wish I could go back in time... my mom is making me go to his funeral, she told me that if I don't go I'll regret it my whole life and she is making me, I don't have to speak if I don't wanna but I have to go and Holly just thanks for caring so much. No I don't have other close friends, he was my only friend and I was his...
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou guys just don't get it, it was my fault, I don't want you to be on here telling me it wasn't, because I know it was... it doesn't matter what people say if I talked to him then HE would be LIVING! I just can't take all the stress of his funeral and the baby coming, I don't think I can even confront his parents when they ask me if I knew about it. I have to write his epilogue thinggy and I don't know what to say or anything, I don't want to do this, I don't want to talk about him with other people, I don't even want to go to his funeral! but that's so selfish of me not to go!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what to do!!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): Nope babes, not your fault, not your fault at all.. He loved you, he would hate for you too feel sad and guilty. He may have lived for one day if you were available, but he would have been dead the next day. People who want to die, want to die. You may slow them down, but eventually they will kill themselves. He loved you, he would hate to know your in so much pain. You were the best friend he ever had, you did more for him than most people did. The fact that he survived so long is because of your kindness to him, you gave him more life than he expected to have. Not your fault at all honey, you were the reason he hung on as long as he did, but he couldn't hang on any longer, and nothing you could have said would have kept him alive for longer than a day or two.
I'm so sorry, so very sorry. People decide to die and nobody can stop them, not even you. He loved you and he wanted you to know that, please don't cry anymore or feel sad. He was glad that you helped him as much as you did. Blessings, your a very beautiful and kind person. Take care of yourself and the baby, your baby needs you to be happy and rejoice that you are still alive. Your friend would have wished happiness for you, he would have hated to make you sad.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno, he has been having a lot of problems at home and we were talkinga bout them, and i thought he felt better and then he called me crying, and he said ill never forget it "i am sorry, i can do this. i love you shelby, i love you but i can not keep doing this, dont ever foreget i love you. Do you think i can come over and we can talk?"
i said no cuz i was tired and my back was killing me and my mom would wake up, STUPID! I WOULD HAVE RATHER MY MOM WOKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then the next morning his dad called me and yea.
its my fault, he wanted to talk it out!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbecause i didnt stop him, i used a stupid excuse of i am tired, and my back hurts... i could have sucked it up and snuck out. but i failed. i am a horrible friend and its my fault.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni understand where you guys are comming from, but this time it really was my fault.
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female
reader, PunkyPippi +, writes (24 January 2009):
 Oh baby, I'm so sorry.
Please don't blame yourself for this. Some people just can't take the things life throws at them, and nothing anyone does can help them.
Grieve for him, and cry for him, but don't be mad at yourself and don't blame yourself for this. You have a child coming that needs to be the number one priority in your life.
Talk to a counselor if it gets to be too much...again, I am so sorry and wish you the best.
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