A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a relationship with a younger guy, he's 18 and I'm 20. Throughout the past year We have had so many trust issues regarding other women especially.He and his ex broke up exactly when my ex and I broke up and of course there needs to be some space between us and our exes to get over each other and move on. He insists on still being friends with his ex because he says she is a good friend to him and yes, I could understand that but I needed him to understand that his ex and him needed to take time because I was uncomfortable with it. He and her were each other's first in having intercourse and it was the same with me and my ex before him, that's why I thought it would be appropriate to take time away from them. He refused and was angry at me for "taking his friends away" from him. We had so many arguments with her and everything. During the first couple months with him and her still being friends I found that in his myspace trash folder he deleted a message from her that had a link of her photobucket with nude pictures of her! I was so upset! why would she send him these?? he made an excuse and said that she sent them to him by accident. At this point I was thinking that he was telling the truth by saying she sent them by accident because I knew she wanted him back but at the same time it seemed suspicious since they were in the trash folder in his myspace and he didn't tell me about it. Of course as anyone would, I asked him why he didn't tell me. He said he thought I was going to get mad and blame him and he was scared to ruin our relationship. It took me a while to believe him and I did. I felt insecure in our relationship and had little trust for him throughout our relationship since then. It got worse where I found that those pictures were saved on his Pc! I look at his recent items and saw her picture saved somewhere on his computer. I was shaky and scared and I ddn't know what to think. He said he didn't know what happened and that he never saive that picture and had no idea how it got there. It took me yet a while to think and I believed him and got over it. Months pass and yet again I find pictures of other girls including his EXES on his computer with like those slutty poses girls post on their myspaces! I couldn't believe it, why is this happening?? he said his firend came over his house and saved them onto his flash drive and didn't delete it because his mother came in and he was going to delete them later. I mean come on, there were alot of pictures how could he have saved them all at once?? I almost broke up with him but something told me to stay... I stayed and yesterday I was on AIM and found that I had his ex girl friend's IM, I made a screenname and talked to her randomly and she talked to me too not knowing who I was. We came onto the topic of ex boyfriends and this is where it got me...She said they hooked up when he was with me in the beginning of our relationship. She said he cheated on me with her and didn't tell me. I talked to him and yet again he denys this saying she was crazy and he did not know why she said it. (*Note she went to the phych ward twice during their relationship and had insecurities and was suffering of depression cutting herself) I don't know what to believe now. Should I believe her? or should I just...accept his mistake since it was so long ago and make this relationship work?All those times I believed him... It's just because I love him so much. I don't know what to do. I love him so much but he's done these things to me.
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broke up, cheated on me, his ex, insecure, move on, my ex, myspace, nude pictures Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): well you have a tough call to make - i cant give you an answer, but this is what i will advise:
think the truth is somewhere between him and her...
Decide now right now if you want him.
ok if you do then talk to him - and explain the rules.
that he removes her from the contacts, my space etc. if he doesn't then part of him is still with her. And no contact with her.
he should remove all photos from his pc - delete them complelty - hiding is not an option. this is about trust and its hurting you.
talk to him and explain you need to have the whole him, not the left overs. she is out. (YOU OR HER)
thats what i would do.
Star.x.
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