A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it ok to hit a man or get someone else to hit him if he is stalking you and threatening to harm your child?I've been to the police but they say there is nothing they can do.I'm at my wits end.Help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): Maybe you haven't heard, egrl202, but carrying a handgun in the UK is highly illegal and would definitely earn a minimum five-year jail sentence plus an unlimited fine if she was caught carrying one. The banning of handguns in the UK was a kneejerk reaction of our dear government following the Dunblane Massacre in 1996. The same sort of thing seems to be happening in schools all over America in recent times.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunblane_massacre
Even our olympian shooting teams have to train elsewhere.
A
female
reader, egrl202  +, writes (29 December 2008):
This is very serious, keep a gun on you, or a weapon you life is not worth this fool and his foolishness. Keep tabs on your child at all times. Always be aware of your surroundings, consider an alarm system for your house, so when you come home, you can feel safe in your own house. Keep your kids in your sight at all times every second, protect your babies.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): These situations are tricky,the most important factor missing from your question is the circumstances as to why this is happening? If you and this guy were involved in a relationship and its ended abruptly or not easy circumstances then hes probably just trying to talk to you for some answers or closier, this would make it 'your' fault this is happening and hes probably going through a much harder time than you are and you need to talk to him. Once youve spoken whatever issues will probably be resolved. and the situation will come to an end.
Also 'stalking' is the physical following and harrasing of someone. If all hes been doing is calling etc then thats not really stalking, but granted is annoying and so fourth.
So my advice to you is this, if the circustances are that you dont know or havent been involved with this person and is of the physical nature 'actual stalking'then yes seek legal action, but if on the other hand is an ex and all hes been doing is calling, emailing etc then perhaps just try being nice and talking to him instead of avioding the situation and pro longinging things.
good luck
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): Of course it is ok. Find a male friend capable of warding him off. It may not come to blows but if it does so be it.It's no use pontificating when someone is threatning to harm you and your child.I can't believe the other posters answers, they beggar belief.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 December 2008):
 First call the police. Secondly, keep a detailed journal of the episodes with him stalking you (Where you actually see him) date, place and time.Like Chipmonk said, don't get into any altercations with him. He is for whatever reason craving your attention. I have added two links to a couple of websites with some basic information for you.http://www.aware.org/stalking/stalkgeninfo.shtmlandhttp://www.associatedcontent.com/article/81080/how_to_stop_a_stalker.htmlI hope you will stay safe.
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A
male
reader, Chippymunk  +, writes (28 December 2008):
 Are you sure you have went to the police? Because if they ignore your plight and you end up getting hurt, they can be in big trouble.
As for hitting him, it may or may not be ok. I don't know the laws in UK but I believe that we did derive our laws from them so i'll be speaking according to our laws.
Hitting him would probably be a bad idea regardless of who's right or wrong. It may anger him more and push him to do something even more violent. If you must hit him, you cannot do it just because he is stalking or verbally threatening you. You can only legally hit him if you believe, in that immediate situation, that your saftey, or the safety of your child is in danger, and that there is no other means of preventing the danger. Note the word "immediate," it means he must be there in person, giving you a reason to believe that he will cause harm. In this case, it can be a verbal threat such as saying that he will hurt you either now, or in the future (e.g. "I'm going to come back and kill you").
Please keep in mind that I'm not giving advise on when/how to hit him, just stating the laws. You must if possible, only resort to violence as a last resort as it will almost always cause more trouble. There should be women shelters in your area that will take you and your child in or help protect you. You may have to do some searching as I am unfamiliar with your area. Good luck, and be careful!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): The police can be pretty useless at times - but it's not entirely their fault. They have to abide by the law the same as everyone else. Unfortunately the system is such that they're unlikely to act unless he carries out his threats because up until then he hasn't actually committed a crime.
The best way forward, short of hiring a hit-man, would be to take out an injunction against him, preventing him from coming within a certain distance of you or contacting you in any way. Once the injunction is in place, and he breaks it, then is the time that the police can act and arrest him.
See a solicitor at the first opportunity and set the wheels in motion. Apply for legal aid if need be. Be aware that some solicitors don't take on cases which are legally aided. The citizen's advice bureau can give you a list of solicitors available to you, and a quick phone call should be all that is needed to find out who they are. The CAB is in the phone book.
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