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male
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anonymous
writes: Hey, I’m Rob - and I need some help!I’m 18 and was going out with my ex gf for 10 months. She was my life, really she was. When we first went out I wanted nothing serious but then she invited me over her house and I met the family and she initiated a serious relationship. She was the 1st girl who’d ever came round to meet the family and they accepted her and loved her to bits. We both had lots of friends and fell in love, and we thought and said we’d be together forever. She then got bad eczema, really bad. It got so bad I had to buy her the things she wanted cos she was to scared to show anyone her face. And so we went out less. I spent every day with her, got so attached and used to the fact it was just me and her. I sacrificed friends. Hobbies, my own life just to be with her. and yes it was my decision but 6 months later she got better. I was so use to it being us to that I lost my friends and only had tamz.She was better and she wanted to go out to see her mates etc, and I don’t know I just went soo obsessive - sorta like love addiction, I made her feel guilty if she was seeing a mate, I cried constantly, screamed at her but she stayed with me and loved me. It got so bad I almost crashed the car we were both in cos I was so upset and angry then on my 18th birthday she dumped me.Since we’ve tried to be mates but I can’t handle it. I looked at her phone and read her texts in October without her consent and she hasn’t spoken to me since. I am just obsessive when it comes to her. I get anxious if she’s out and she really did love me, but maybe I took it one step too far and she couldn’t cope. I was best mates with her brother and then I fell out with him over it, so I was left with nothing.She says we can't be friends, but I really thought she was the one. I still do now but my behaviour and obsessiveness and addiction to having to be with her all the time got too much and I still feel it. I’ve had counseling and even at school with her I just want to be in her life. We shared everything, we just got so intense. I text her but she barred my number - blocked me off instant messenger. She doesn’t wanna know. but I don’t get it. Why did I just get all obsessive? She took so much, and loved me so much, and I wonder how 6 months on I’m still in love with her. yet she is doing fine. I know it’s my fault but how do I start again when I love her? Sshe’s all I had in the end, and I’m alone. and it hasn’t got easier. I get worse. HELP! :s
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female
reader, mystify +, writes (6 January 2006):
 there will probably always be a place for her in your heart but in time you will find that there is room in your heart for others also.
its gonna be hard because you feel you have nothing left to fall back on, so you have gotta try and find positive things in your life, start to think about the future and involve yourself in things you enjoy.
you will be able to be happy again when you decide that it is time for you to move on from this.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2006): thanks mate,i just feel empty without her... and cos she has all her old friends back now who waited, she doesnt have the missing void i did... and plus im the one in the wrong not her, so its harder for me deal with... its cos im not happy with my life that i focus on her.. i still do 6 months on.... and it wont go... however shes still in my heart.. and i cant see her ever leaving it.. although surely id try more.. i see her at college and jst cant say a word.. cos i no she doesnt wana know so im protecting myself from bein hurt.. as each day passes i become more of an enemy.. i said id changed.. i tried.. i cudnt.. i really tried... and i cant change.. not with her.. and even after her refusin to contact me for months.. id do anything for her... and now im broken!
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A
male
reader, mister-squid +, writes (6 January 2006):
 Some people do get obsessed when they're in love. I did. She left me. 9 months later, I'm still trying to pick up the pieces of my shattered, broken life, but I've made new friends and have learned something from it. Just don't get so attached in the future.
You'll get over this eventally. The answer, however, doesn't lie in a different partner (I've had around 5 different girlfriends in the past 9 months). You'll compare them to your ex, and they'll draw up short. My advice to you, Rob, is to get your life back, and try to learn something from it.
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