A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Sorry this is so long:So my best friend dumped his old girlfriend for a new girl. In my circle of friends both of them were big parts of the group. The new girl is not very welcome in the group now and my best friend has pretty much burned bridges and now I am really his only friend. Also his new girlfriend really doesn't have any friends so she has decided to make me her best friend. So now I am friends with my boy's girlfriend. She is cool and someone that I can talk to but she doesnt realize that she cant really be best friednds with her boyfriends best friend. It gets awkward when she wants to hang out even when my best friend is not there. I avoid these situations but then she calls me up and complains. Then she also complains to me about her relationship problems with my best friend. Its all very annoying and also I think my best friend is getting jealous of how much she talks to me and may even think I am trying to steal her away from him. I think she may even talk to me more than him. I can see where he is coming from but still this whole situation is annoying cuz I dont like her in that way and I dont wanna lose my best friend and I feel bad for his girlfriend cuz I am her only real friend. She only has me as her only real friend and then she has her boyfriend and I think she is mixing these together. She almost acts like I am her boyfriend too. I dont know what to do without being a jerk to this girl who only has me for friends or potentially losing my best friend who also only has me for friends. I am so stuck and confused.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice. I think the best thing to do is to talk it out. Hopefully that will solve this problem and at least help me save my friendship with my best friend
A
female
reader, puds123  +, writes (29 December 2009):
Your in a bit of a sticky situaltion alright. If i were you i would try to talk it out, honestly its the best way to say how you feel about the situation. I would talk to the girl first and say look i really value our friendship but explain to her why its complicated and try make her understand that you dont want to hurt her feeling but you dont want to lose your best friend either esspecially when hes a best friend and you were friends with him befor she came along. Then id talk to ur best friend about it, reassure him that you have no feelings for her at all and that ur her only friend and thats why she always hangs out with you and talks to you. That should let ur friend know that u understand were he is coming from and you are taking his feelings on board.
If that doesnt cool things down a bit you could show both of them this question to show them how confused and stucjk you are and how you dont want to upset anyone.
Good luck =D
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): Dude what are you doing?? Be nice but distance yourself from that chick. Your best friend is just going to get p'd off at you and do you really need all that nonsense?
Ive met a few guys and girls who have no friends and the reason is always the same: they are full of it and alienated everyone. You feel bad because she is playing mousy right now, but trust me she isnt that way at all.
Its good you want to be friendly, but make it clear that her bf has tyo be there if you guys hang out ok. Remember the old saying "bros before hoes"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): Communicate.
Not with us, with them.
Together.
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