A
male
age
36-40,
*abs
writes:Sorry did post b4 but didnt add some detailsI have a girlfriend i been with for 3 years. we have split up for six month but have been back together for a yr. I love her but i met this girl recently who i have been really fond with. I am only 19 yrs old and i feel trapped that i cant go out with anyone else because she fell pregant and now have a baby what should i do?
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female
reader, kath +, writes (11 January 2007):
 you say she fell pregnant It takes 2 and you had the choice to wear a condom! you need to care love and look after you child this will be the most rewarding thing in your life ever! if you want the relationship to work with the mother of your child then you need to channel your fondness to her and not this other female. im sure you could have time to yourself if you talked to your partner about how your feeling and im sure she would like to have time to herself too also spend quality time alltogether maybe a walk in the park. good luck x
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (11 January 2007):
 Hi there
Sometimes in life things happen that we find difficult to live with, unfortunately we need to find a way to survive and also create a safe environment for ourselves. Then what do you do if your past detains you? You fight it with everything you got so that your future still look very bright. You were young made mistakes including having unprotected sex with the girl you thought u loved, she fell pregnant and now you realise she is just not the one right?
When the third person in a relationship is a child, it doesn’t mean you are tied up with that person you both made a mistake and a child is a victim in all this, which means all the decision you make including leaving its mother they might not be what is good for you, they must be good for the three of you, it sounds unreasonable but it is the truth if u want your child to grow in a more respectable and livable environment although dysfunctional as the parents are not together. Remember you don’t want your child living your mistake, so if u continue making them you will mess the child’s normal growth.
Speak to your current gf whom I think its your child’s mother, discuss your relationship with her tell her how you still want to be part of the child and how you will be there whenever she needs your opinion or help (assuming she is the one staying with the kid) but you don’t see you guys working, she might not take it well under the circumstances you felt you have to be honest so that the tension between the two doesn’t negatively affect the child. She might not understand but with time she will agree with you, after discuss a way that will work for both of u in raising that child you are still very young so don’t feel trapped but don’t take advantage and start fooling around your child might resent you in future thinking you deserted his or her mother. So respect yourself and all shall be well. Good luck
Jovial.
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