A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Other than being sexually assaulted I've only had one sexual experience and when it happened it still felt like i was being raped. I'm not sure if it was him, me, or just the fact that i had been raped before, but i hated it it felt like he was holding me down and forcing his self into me and that he was doing it very very hard and i started crying and he stopped and tried to hold me and see what was wrong but i just ran off crying. Now i feel afraid of him, I'm not sure y, but i do and it hurts him but he said he loves me and still wants to be with me and i know it hurts him to know that I'm afraid of him and he tries to give me my space and time and attention but it doesn't seem to change anything, but i don't want want to leave him so what should i do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, littlegurl13012 +, writes (19 November 2008):
 i know what u mean i was raped and and every time after that it felt like u where being raped all over agan but hun if u love the person and u trust them enuff to have sex with u then u shouldnt feel like ur being raped again just dont think about it as rape think of it in other ways well i wish u the best of luck hun
A
female
reader, jprincess422 +, writes (28 October 2008):
 it ok to feel this way.after what happened u may not feel comfortable with having sex.you shud go see ur doctor and consult your boyfriend about wat happened to you and why u felt this way.if he is the one for you he will understand!
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (31 August 2008):
 First things first. If you have not been to some sort of counseling program about your experience, GO NOW! This is something that will leave permanent scars on your life regardless of what you do, but you can make them manageable if you seek competent professional help as soon as possible. Don't be afraid or ashamed. You haven't done anything wrong, and nobody else is going to know. Just get help, if you haven't already.
If you are working with a counselor, this is an excellent topic to bring up. Subsequent sexual experiences can be really traumatic after a sexual assault, and can call (once again) for professional help. Even if you got help before and figured you were "done", this might be a good time to go back for just a little bit more to help you adjust to the new realities of your life now. This is probably the very best gift you can give to yourself and your new guy.
Let him know that you want to be with him, but that you have some serious problems that have nothing to do with him personally. Be sure he knows that you are working seriously to get them resolved in the best way you possibly can. (That's where getting professional help is important. You can't really say that and mean it unless you really ARE doing your best!) Ask him to be patient with you. Keep the relationship alive by staying as close to him as you can handle for now. Try to keep in contact with him, and see him whenever you can under whatever circumstances your emotions will permit. You probably shouldn't get into a position where sex is a possibility again ... that's just pushing things too far for now.
But do see about professional help. You really need it. You'd see a doctor if the person who assaulted you had broken your arm. Well, that person broke things inside that are a lot more serious than your arm, and you need to get them fixed. They are only starting to show up. Get them fixed now.
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