A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am madly in love with my boyfriend, but we recently had a terrible disagreement. You see him and I have been seeing one another for going on 2 years. We have never had a verbal fight, neither he nor I have raised our voices nor cursed at one another. You see if there is something wrong he will tell me in a text message or in an email. Mind you we both live in the same home. Anyway he went into my email seeing 4 emails to and from a friend from high school, whom i have not seen nor spoken to in over 12 years. Anyway he accused me of cheating, and said our whole relationship was a lie. then asked me to move out, so I did. I was gone 2 nights 3 days, and in that time we talked and decided to make things work he said that he over reacted and told me that his previous ex did cheat on him, and was sending nude pictures to another man. so I could see why he would be weary. But He told me that he had been making me pay for his past. but is willing to work on it to make us better. I need help how can help him work through this so that I don't have to keep paying for the mistakes to ex's from the past? even though i am back home he said he still isnt sure that i wont hurt him or turn to another man if things are not going well with us. I told him that we need actual verbal communication, not emails and text messages. I need help please I love him so very much I want to make us work. But I don't want to be a proverbial punching bag.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 July 2010):
 Honestly if I were you I would not move out. I would just stay there and tell him to shut up and go to his room. Moving out only makes him think you are at least a teeny bit guilty.
This is his issue and only he himself is responsible for releasing the past. If you feel like you have to help him with this you are already paying for his ex's mistakes. If he has no trust at all he shouldn't have moved in with you so quickly. He needs to learn to restrain himself otherwise he will be a lonely man. What happens after the honeymoon stage ends? Then there will be nothing left to hold you together.
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