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male
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anonymous
writes: I am 38 years old and met a 38 year old single mother of two 7 months ago on an internet dating site. Even though there is 30 miles between us and we are of different religions, we have been happily meeting each other regularly and have even slept with each other when the occassions permitted. Through all this, our relationship has been kept a secret from her family and friends and children - They all think of me as just another friend as my partner has several male plutonic friends. The reason for this secrecy is that my girl has been through some very sad times with previous relationships including her husband dying on her when they were only young, then the father of her children turning nasty on her and more recently, just before she met me, her last partner cheated on her. I know it's only a few months but I have fallen head over heels for her and am scared that I have already slipped up by telling her I don't believe her male friends all want purely plutonic relations with her and by suggesting that I don't want to be a secret anymore. I am terrified of losing her and need advice on how to keep jealousy at bay and how I should behave to show her I am sincere and that we could have a future together. Please help!!
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female
reader, kyra +, writes (20 February 2006):
hi it seems like your a bit unsure. ok so she says her male friends are plutonic but if you love her you should as so trust her a little more. Maybe some of these friends where there for her when her ex turned violent. give her time things will come through in the end. she's probably still suffering from the shock that someone like her ex could trun so nasty. it's difficult for any one to go through something like she has, but she see the light at the end of the tunnle. Maybe she is scarred of how her family may react. just be there for her as much as possible she soon realise your there because you love her and want to help her.
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