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anonymous
writes: I was with my ex bf for 4 years on and off. I was in love with him. He was my first love. We split up a few times and saw other people in between but we always came back to one another. We got engaged and 6 months later we split up. Sixmonths later I start seeing someone else. I've been seeing him now for 5 months and Ireally care about him loads. He's the first person I've really cared about since my ex. I'm realy confused though. I'm still in love with my ex and only he can make me 100% happy and treat me the way I should be treated. I see a future with him and want to marry him and have his kids still, and we have been split up for nearly a year now. Thing is, I don't know how he feels about me any more. He has a gf but I feel kind of sure that he still loves me. I want to be with my current bf and try and move on but I can't seem to do. I still love my ex and to this day he is still the only one I see a future with. What canI do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): to the last person, there is true guys out there who care alot for girls, me being one. im the same as you 2 i was with my 'ex' girlfriend for a year with a 2 month slit in between. her head according to her was 'smashed' and we finished it. I starting seeing someone else a month after but finished it because i still had my ex in my mind 24/7 apart from when i met up with my girlfriend and i loved every minute with my girlfriend. Lately my 'ex' girlfriend starting txting me as she noticed on my fcebook profile i was seeing someone and she said she was seeing someone and they was getting serious and relating him as 'the one' that hurt inside as i thought me and her was the one. Unfortunately not so.She seems to have moved on and i havent i have even resorted to lieing about my last girlfriend saying we are still together just so see what she says, it hurts inside so much and no1 will listen to me :-(
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): to the last person, there is true guys out there who care alot for girls, me being one. im the same as you 2 i was with my 'ex' girlfriend for a year with a 2 month slit in between. her head according to her was 'smashed' and we finished it. I starting seeing someone else a month after but finished it because i still had my ex in my mind 24/7 apart from when i met up with my girlfriend and i loved every minute with my girlfriend. Lately my 'ex' girlfriend starting txting me as she noticed on my fcebook profile i was seeing someone and she said she was seeing someone and they was getting serious and relating him as 'the one' that hurt inside as i thought me and her was the one. Unfortunately not so.She seems to have moved on and i havent i have even resorted to lieing about my last girlfriend saying we are still together just so see what she says, it hurts inside so much and no1 will listen to me :-(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): i know your feeling , i was with my bf 4 only a year and half but 4 da last 6months of the relationship we were on and of and he was the best thing dat ever happened 2 me and its bin 9months since we split 4 good and he still goes thru my head everyday , even though i have a new boyfriend the only person i want 2 be with is my ex , my mates say it must be true love cuz my heart skips a beat everytime i speak 2 him/txt him /or if he comes online ... and we have everyhtin in commen .. but he cant see that he is txtin me and sayin that he dosnt wana be with me but i know he does , why on earth are guys soo uptight about relationships x
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female
reader, NuttyGooner  +, writes (23 January 2007):
 I was in the same situation as you. I met my ex when I was 17, it was a turbulant relationship, one minute we were on, the next minute we was off. I wanted a full time relationship, he wouldn't commit to me. We tried seeing other people but eventually gravitate towards each other again.
He was in a band, I was trying to find my vocation in life, he wanted to make a go of his band and see where it will take him, I wanted to settle down. It got to the point where I was sick of playing second fiddle to his band, and couldn't take anymore of his lying about his infidelity. He had made me feel complete, but he had made me feel such self loathing and made me cry so hard, it hurt.
One day, when I was 21, we saw eachother (after being 3 months OFF) slept together again, and he admitted that he doesn't think he would ever stop loving me, but I told him that I knew he will not stop hurting me either. It was then he told me he was seeing someone else. I felt sick! For 3 months he would lie about me to our mutual friends that I was stalking him, they knew he was lying about me, and we would all laugh at him. The cheek of it!
When I started seeing my current boyfriend 4 months later (we've been together for nearly 3 years now), I received many texts from my ex, wanting to see me, and how we should get back together - despite us now being with other people. I really care about my new partner so much, I can't even begin to dream of hurting him. Although my ex has chopped and changed gf's, I've always stuck by my bf knowing full well he would never make me cry, nor make me feel such wretchedness. I responded to my ex that I felt such pity for his current gf, and wondering how many times he did that behind my back kept me from returning.
Do I love my ex? I did once, and God I was so tempted to go back to him when I was seeing my bf. Does he still text? Yes he does, but I don't respond. But I love myself more, and owe it to myself - and my bf for that matter (whom I love so dearly I can't imagine now being with anyone else) - to leave my ex well alone, and be happy. It's amazingly quick how giving one thing your full and undivided attention makes one's ex simply fade into the background, and the beauty of hindsight kicks in!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2006): WOW, I feel like I worte this letter. Iam in the same exact situation. I cant believe I broke off my engagement. Its been a year now and I cant date anyone. I just realized that the reason Im not happy in life, is because I still love him. If I were u sis, I would try to work it out and see if theres still a chance. The reason I cant do that is because there was alot of drama in my break up. Our families got into it. So, I dont know about me, but u should tryyy. Good Luck :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2006): i have been split up with my ex boyfriend almost 25years but there has never been a day that goes by that i dont think of him i have been married almost 23 years and have 4 sons i just seem to be ploding along i didnt see him for quite a while then i heard that he had married it was as if i had been kicked in the stomach i see him around quite a lot now but we dont speak we just look at each other. it was me who finished the relationship but i regret it to this day and i always will.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005): I am in the same situation, only I am the gf who's bf is still in love with his ex. She is in a serious relationship with another man, but he can't get past his feelings for her-even though it has been 2 years since they split. I just found out how he felt, and from the new partner's point of view, you should really figure out what it is that you want because every day sinec I found out about my bf's feelings, I have been depressed, cried, and worried that I would enevitably lose him. If you don't want to lose the one you are with, you need to make a decision NOW; either go to your ex and break it off with your current beau (the sooner the better-give them time to heal, as they will be crushed) or make a concerted effort to get over your ex and commit yourself 100% to your new beau.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2005): well I know how you feel I am going through the same thing i love my ex bf so much but now he has a new gf and it hurt so badly i miss him in my life I can;t picture my life without him but in my heart I know he still love me but this gf of his got him whip and I hate that cause I love him so much he do everything she tells him that shit makes me mad but i love him but I know I got to move on life is to short but I WANT HIM BACK BADLY AND AND I WANT TO KNOW HOW CAN I WIN MY EX BACK CAUSE I WANT HIM CAUSE WE WAS IN LOVE
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2005): Hi there.
I have been in a similar situation for some ridiculous amount of years.
However I have moved on and have had 3 LONG relationships since. Life waits for no one to participate, and while you are wondering Mr. Right may walk pass.
You have get out there and enjoy what comes on your path.
My situation is quite humorous, when the relationship I am in starts to spiral out of control, I would have a dream of my ex, Or he will phone out of the blue.
Every time this helped me see my current relationship with all the clarity needed to know it is time to move on.
I have recently told my ex how I feel, and the answer he gave left me smiling.
However right now our lives are in different places and we are living it.
Should this world bring us together it will.
I cannot wait, all I know is should we see each other and it is meant to be it will be.
Now I will continue living with enthusiasm and give every wonderful person that comes my way my 100% commitment.
At some point you may realize your heart still belongs somewhere else, that is when you get out.
Maybe you need some time on your own, and clearly this new great guy has not swept you off your feet, so move on and enjoy!!
Life is full of surprises and odds are if you waiting for the surprise you may be very disappointed!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2005): I am in the same situation, i have written my ex and letter explaining how i feel, i don't know what will come of that but hopefully he'll see i still care.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2005): I still love my ex and i dont want to move on because i know he still loves me to. so if you belive in your heart that you still love him then go for what is in your heart.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2005): I know how you feel and I have been through it too, but one side of you will be saying he ain't coming back, the other move on, and the rest you can't get over him. Take it slow and try your hardest. Obviously it hurts but that's all. Life wasn't meant to be easy. I hope you have a great life with your next boyfriend and can have a close friendship with your ex. Go for it, give him all you got. xx
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reader, Angel-lee +, writes (5 May 2005):
There is always a chance of anyone getting back together! If you both really love each other, it doesn't matter how much you have "moved on". Some people get with other people because they are on the rebound! At first everything seems brilliant and then you realise that home is where the heart is.Darlin, if your heart and your head are still waiting for him to come back, nothing is going to stop you thinking about it. The best thing for you to do is write him a letter. A year has passed, you probably haven't seen him a lot over that time. How are either of you supposed to know that you definitely don't love eachother any more when you haven't seen each other for so long? Write him a letter, telling him how you feel about him, tell him you still love him and that you want to know if he feels the same way too. Write your email address down or mobile number and tell him that if he still thinks about you and has had second thoughts to get in contact. Sometimes it takes a man a lot longer to admit his feelings than for us women. If you haven't spoken for some time, or seen each other then neither of you are to know if you still love each other or not. Go for it girl. Just be careful not to hurt the person you are with. If you send your ex a subtle letter telling him how you feel, if he doesn't respond you have to move on. But even then, who knows, you might see each other one day and realise that you still love each other. Who knows! But if you want it bad enough tell him, life's too short and you will only regret it.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (26 April 2005):
 You know why you can't move on? Because you don't want to. Every time you try to step out of your old rut, you drag yourself back into it. The question is, Why?Here you are, almost year after your on-again, off-again relationship. You have a new boyfriend that you care about "loads", your ex has a new girlfriend. There've been so many changes in your lives that you don't even know how your ex feels about you any more. And yet... you're still trying to blind yourself with Harlequin Romance ideals and convince yourself that you love him and that he's your destiny and that he's the only man you can see in your future.Get over it.It's done. You broke up. Not once, but several times. He's moved on. You've moved on. A first love is RARELY your only love.Futhermore, it's not fair to your current boyfriend to pretend that you're committed to him, when you're really saving all your personal intimacy for your "rose-coloured-glasses" ex. Who, in case I have to remind you, hasn't exactly broken down your door with cries of "Oh, take me back!" in the last year.Trying to convince yourself that he still loves you, when there's absolutely no proof for the assertion is just... I'm sorry, but it's pathetic. You're trying to play the part of the love-starved, abandoned woman in your own internal love-story, but your ex isn't picking up on his cues. Accept it.Time to admit that it's over and move on. If your ex wanted you back, he'd have been in touch and let you know. Instead, he has a new girlfriend. That's all the information you require.Now, be nice to your current boyfriend before he decides that you're hopelessly devoted to a lost cause and he, too, lets you go.Yours realistically,Bev
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