A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been chatting to a guy who was married for 15 years and has been divorced five years and who has two thirds of childcare responsibility as his ex wife has a mental health condition. He told me he had an affair when the two children were young and was close to a woman online emotionally for six months and flew to meet her abroad for a week. She was wealthy and just used him for company and it soon ended. He said it was totally out of character. I feel sick that he did this to his family. He tells me not to judge and he was pushed to the limit. I can't help how I feel. Should I meet him feeling like this? Am I being judgemental?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 July 2015):
 I agree with SVC and I'd like to add that the FACT that he TOLD you about this can mean several things, 1. he wants to gauge your reaction 2. he feels little to no remorse or 3. he is even a "little" proud that he did it.
Had this "wealthy lady" not ended it, I would be surprised if he would have continued to see her on the side.
It might HAVE been the only time he physically cheated, but it DOES show how he reacted to a complicated home situation. He reached out to someone else.
I'd be weary of this one. I know his past is his past, but it can also be a sign of a pattern.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 July 2015):
 He's telling you he's selfish and inconsiderate and a cheater and a liar.
Anyone who can lie to and cheat on their spouse will make excuses as to why it was acceptable to do so.
Knowing that he was able to lie to his wife who struggles with mental illness (which i'm betting he used as his excuse at least partially) means he may lie to you
would you ever trust him?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2015): Well... It just tells you he is extremely selfish and when "pushed" or put in difficult situations, he puts himself first.
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