A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:HI! A fellow townsman and I connected strongly on the basis of some mutual political views and doing committee work etc. We spend a lot of time together doing such things. I know there is a strong personal interest on both our parts, and we give hints to each other, however he is living with someone, and wont show his hand so to speak. I know he is testing our relationship on a number of levels....and he doesnt seem to care who knows about his interest in me, (small town). I know he is hiding behind the formal part of our relationship and is interested in growing our relationship. His live in partner, is being hurt, as I can tell whenever I see her, because she understands what's going on...even tho there have been no intimacies between us. I am one who only believes in marriage so to me he seems to be fair game, though I dont really want to hurt anyone, and many aspects of the relationship frustrate me, because I like him so much on so many different levels. I, myself am going through a divorce, and am living alone for the first time in many years. I have busied myself with other things, and am seeking other relationships to allay some of my frustration. Should I cease all communication or continue to work with this person, even tho its hard on both of us...or bring the thing out into the open which I fear might end things, as he will then be forced to show his cards, and I dont know if I want him to risk what he has, when i myself dont know if I am totally willing to commit to him at this point. Whewwww....well thats it! Thanks for any feedback.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): no, no, no. And i bet this guy has done this many times before, with a love em and leave em philosophy. Do not disrespect his wife and demean yourself by considering a relationship. He is bad news. You have not connected, this man is looking for a woman who is lonely, naive, gullible and unknowingly it is you who will get the bad reputation, not him, in this town
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 hi well first off just because he is not married does not mean that he is fair game he is in a commited relationship and therefore he shouldnt cheat on his current partner so it would be very wrong if you were both intimitate together, i hope you both dont go down this path unless he is single.
Ok i think you need to get it out in the open and be honest with him about how you feel, at least then he can make a choice in his life if he wants you or his currernt partner, at least he will have a choice and you dont need to pretend anymore, however if you are not sure you can commit to him be sure to also tell him this goodluck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Simple answer.
Don't do anything with anyone who is involved with another person. You hurt that other person tremendously. You actually hurt yourself as well.
If he isn't happy in his current relationship, he either needs to work on it or end it, not move on to another relationship while maintaining the security of the existing relationship.
Again, as you will see from many postings on here, you may just find that you are being delicately played.
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A
female
reader, Sarahh._x  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 I can see the strong attraction but as long as your not in love with him, i dont think you should break up a relationship, also if you are barking up the wrong tree it could ruin your a his personal/business relationship
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