A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey there! Just a quick question. I am separated from my husband and currently going through divorce proceedings. Basically he started sleeping with another woman and I found out about it - so that was that. Anyway since then I started dating a guy from work. I've known him for a couple of years now. We started out as friends and became closer since my divorce proceedings started. We are now living together in rented accommodation. As you can imagine, I don't want my heart to be broken again, so am not sure whether to buy a house with this new guy even though we get on well. Then all of a sudden this really hot guy from work who I've always liked, but never really talked to, suddenly confesses that he has had a three year crush on me and that he has some deep feelings for me. He has two children but is not married. He asked me out and I turned him down. Next thing you know he tells me that he will not talk to me anymore unless he has a good business reason - which I said I was cool with. Anyway, my question is that deep down I think this guy is actually very attractive i.e. I may be in denial. I also think that I would like to date him but am worried about my reputation in the office. Are there any other women out there who have started dating one office guy then finish that relationship only to move on to another guy from the same office? The fact that this guy with children has taken himself out of the equation kind of makes me fancy him that little bit more. The guy I am seeing at the moment has children, too - but is separated from his wife whereas the other guy is still living with his partner and children. Thank you for any thoughts you may have on this. Hope I am not coming across as being a little bit selfish here...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): ...perhaps the new guy has deep feelings for you and that's why he cannot put himself in the friendship zone now. Perhaps he was being thoughtful in giving you the space around the office to continue your relationship with the current guy. The new guy sounds like a genuine fellow. Probably just as honourable as the guy you're with at the moment. I can appreciate your dilemma!
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 February 2009):
I really think that yes, this will give you a bad reputation - and also it's hardly going to be fun for your 2 men to work together. I would hate to think of phrases like "sloppy seconds" appearing on the men's toilet walls.
If you are tempted elsewhere then perhaps you need to ask yourself if you really like your current boyfriend, or if he was just a convenient rebound and housemate.
If you are going to do anything then get a place of your own, be single and get your head together.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (28 February 2009):
 Maybe you shouldn't dip you pen in the company ink. Or have your cake and eat it to..
Personally, in your situation, I would stick with the guy you are with now and forget about the other guy. Both guys have kids, though one has one via a committed relationship that is over. The other is still living with his partner. On top of that, he has shown that he has no real interest in you. If he did, he would still talk to you even if you did turn him down for a dating relationship. It shows no class.
Personally, I wouldn't try to fix what isn't broken because in the end, you may just actually break it. You seem to be in a great relationship from what you say. Just think what would happen if you leave the current guy for the new guy but then the new guy just wanted a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kind of relationship? How he is acting after you said no IMO shows that he is probably likely looking for that.
But I think you should stay in your current relationship if you are happy in it, and don't fall for temptations which are pulling at you.
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