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Back together now but everytime we argue he throws 'past issues' in my face. Help!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 July 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, *hasez55 writes:

My boyfriend and I have had a very up and down relationship. He's about 6 years younger than me, and when we first got together, everything was perfect. He was thoughtful, caring, did everything and anything to make me happy. We started having problems when I developed a little bit of a drinking problem. All too often, he would be the "victim" of my drunken rampages, often having to carry me out of bars, deal with drunken texts and phone calls. After about 2 1/2 months, he broke up with me because he couldn't handle it anymore. About 3 weeks later, we got back together, but it hasn't been the same. We both have trust issues, because both of us are guilty of getting drunk and making out with people. I have forgiven him for what he did, and I hope that he has forgiven me, but now every time we have a fight, he throws it in my face. How can I make him see that when I'm sober, I would never DREAM of doing anything like that. He means the world to me, but when he gets mad, he won't respond to texts or phone calls, which leads me to get kinda hysterical on the other end. He usually ends up getting more mad that I'm so upset, and just tells me to chill out. I don't like being ignored, and when he ignores me, I tend to say things I don't mean, just to get a response. It's now been 3 days, and he hasn't responded to me at all. Help!!!

View related questions: broke up, drunk, got back together, text

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A male reader, quarky United Kingdom +, writes (29 July 2007):

quarky agony auntOK - sorry if this sounds harsh...

In short, you both need to get a grip on your drink problems before you ever start thinking about a relationship.

It's unlikely that you'll both be in that same place at the same time tho' - you at least have posted the Q.

It may be about time for you to forget about him and deal with your own probs first.

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