A
female
age
36-40,
*ittykat87
writes:Ok so I joined an online dating website and the main reasons for this are because I dont have the time to be going out and meeting people due to my job, and I've just moved to a new city where I dont know many people hence I thought using online dating would be the best option for me at the moment.I have met 2 nice guys through the website, one of whom I liked a little more than the other. Guy number 1 seemed really into me, we ended up texting each other every day, he would call me and we would talk for hours and hours...I allowed myself to get my hopes up because we really seemed to connect and I hadnt felt so excited about anyone like that for quite some time. He seemed to feel the same, he was always sending cute texts like "I think I have a bit of a thing for you" and "I've been thinking about you all day". We arranged to meet up and had a wonderful evening, he took me out for dinner and was the perfect gentleman. We kissed and it was amazing, we were definately attracted to each other. So he drops me off and he goes home, texts me when he gets in etc saying how much he enjoyed the date etc. Now I noticed as soon as we started talking through texts that he was a little unusual - he would forget questions I've asked him and would go off on a tangent, and when we spoke on the phone he would often forget what he was about to say. It was almost like he had ADHD (I would never dare ask him this!), his conversations were often random and everything was a little manic with him. But I thought it was quite cute and endearing, so I didnt pay much attention to this at the time. He kept asking if I was ready for a serious relationship and he's 27, so I thought he was looking for something pretty serious.Anyway, since the date last wednesday I have hardly heard from him! I would be fine if he just told me straight that he wasnt interested, but when I asked him via text he said he really wanted to get to know me better; but still hasnt called or text (he replies occasionally when I text him). So I just cant get my head around the polar shift in his behaviour! Before he was texting me all day every day, we would be on the phone every night (him calling me) and now nothing?Any ideas what might have gone wrong? Do you think he might actually have something similar to ADHD and after one date he has got bored and moved on? I am happy to let this go and move on but I would love to know what the hell happened! Even if its just so I know what I did wrong with him so I dont do it with anyone else!
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 August 2009):
 People who blow really hot, tend to blow really cold as well.
Frankly, I would be highly suspicious of anyone who after only talking online or through SMS was already talking about a relationship. Call me a old fashioned, but I think you should at least give the other person a hand first.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): Dating websites can frustrate the hell out of you, This guy may be fishing, h may enjoy seeing how many girls he can get interested in him as kind of a confidence boost whisltnot actually being serious.
I would be inlined to say to him, that you want to meet you are free at such and such a time and see if he can make it. Unless he comes back with taht time or an laternative , cut him off.
Hope this helps
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): maybe the thought of getting serious scarred him and he's just wanting to be sure he didn't bite off mare than he wants to chew. You might want to tell him something like I like you but this whole thing is moving soo fast it kindda scares me,are you sure you're redy for this? That way if gives the guy a chance to slow down or just abandone the whole thing if that's what he wants, and if no responce, did I do something wrong?
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A
female
reader, kittykat87 +, writes (10 August 2009):
kittykat87 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for that :) only problem is I know he hasnt been on the site for a while (it shows when that person was last active on their profile, and his says active within the last 3 days - so I'm pretty sure he is not on the site all that much!). p /
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