A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Can anyone throw some light on my current situation please? I am new to the dating scene after ending a very long term relationship so I'm not good at this.I met a guy last Sunday that I thought was quite attractive. He is a close friend of a close friend of mine.I didn’t think anything more of it, but a week later my friend said that this guy had asked him lots of questions about me, told him he liked me and asked him to pass on his telephone number to me to arrange meeting up.I was really flattered and totally surprised as when we met I only spoke to him for about one minute before having to leave.Anyway, I told my friend that instead of taking this guys number he could give him mine. I’m not very confident about these things and I would never have plucked up the courage to call him but I thought by offering my number I was reciprocating his interest in me, potentially making it easier for him to make the first move.This was two days ago and I’ve not heard anything from him. I totally trust my friend to know well enough that he wouldn’t have exaggerated this guys intentions so if he wanted to meet up with me only a couple of days ago what’s changed his mind??Is it possible that he may have been put off by my friend giving him my number instead of taking his and calling him? He’s in his forties so I would have thought he is a bit old for playing games and I wouldn’t normally give out my number so readily it was only because he is a friend of a trusted friend. Any thoughts? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHiThanks to everyone who answered my question. It's seven days now and he hasn't called. My friend assures me he isn't a player, but apparently he has "added me to his list" - what gives???xx
A
female
reader, SadieB +, writes (25 November 2008):
Hello there, He has only had your number for 2 days, maybe less, and it's not unusual for someone to take longer than two days to call. He will probably call you tomorrow or Thursday to ask you out for this weekend. You are absolutely right not to call or text him yet. Just make sure your friend has definitely given him your number! Although for obvious reasons you don't want your close friend to know that you are waiting for him to call (remember, he is your close friend's close friend too - you don't want to give yourself away!!). Relax about the whole thing...play it nice and cool, enjoy having been asked out and wait for him to do the running. If you are new to the dating scene then it's really important to remember that men love the chase (trust me on this, don't listen to any rubbish about how we are all equal in dating matters - women are the ones who call the shots but only if you don't let them know you are desperate for them to call!). You did absolutely the right thing in passing your number back to him, so even if he doesn't call you (which he will!) then certainly have no regrets about that. Don't even think about calling him or texting, go out and get dressed up and enjoy being single again. This is only one man who has asked for your number, there are hundreds of men waiting out there so make yourself available and keep yourself busy. Or as 'The Rules' state..be a creature unlike any other (have you read 'The Rules'? - you can look it up online anyway, just type it in google. Most people say they are highly sexist but as a 35 year old women who was also (until recently) very new to the dating game after a long relationship, I found them useful to read if I wanted a bit of a shove not to get too hung up on waiting for a phone call! He is in his 40's...therefore he will wait a few days before calling you (remember, we are not talking about a highly strung 25 year old!). Also, don't be tempted to text him because, as a man of that age, he really won't appreciate it and may make him think you are a little immature (it might not, but why take the chance?). Keep your fingers from the phone and await his chase. Remember that this is the fun part of dating again, the early 'will he/won't he call' part. If you put too much emphasis on it, then it becomes a chore rather than a bit of excitement. Trust me, if he is keen, he will call..but certainly not until Wednesday PM or Thursday PM. Now i'm dying to know what happens!! Best of luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): hi you aren't the only one to be confused by a man's behaviour i am too. Anyway he maybe gave his number to put the ball in your court and not to pressure you too much, but now you've given your number he maybe feels the responsibility is back to him, he could be a guy who is into a lady taking the initiative sometimes. You could always just send a text to say hi how are you, then the onus is on him to reply. I don't really know if that has helped any.
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