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B/f says I'm not his rebound, but I worry about it

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 October 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 October 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi. Well this is a strange question, I guess what I’m asking is if my relationship seems normal and that I’m not being used as a rebound. Firstly, we have been together ten months, nearly eleven. I met him four months nearly five months after he had split with his girlfriend of ten to eleven months. He had asked her to marry him, but he said he wasn’t happy. I know she had fell pregnant with his baby which she then aborted and finished with him. He said that when they started it was purely about sex. She was much older than him and hadn‘t met his family. I’ve asked him numerous occasions if I am rebound and he says I am not, that he had dealt with it before we met and he is over her, and that I was the only person he had met afterwards that had felt right (I‘m the first person he ahs dated after seeing her). We started off slow I guess, seeing each other every other day, before he decided to take me out for a meal and ask me to be his girlfriend. He said he had thought about it, before doing so and that he hadn’t expected himself to fall for someone, but then he met me.

We are more than able to spend time apart from each other, but would prefer not to as he works away, and we like to see each other as much as possible. He doesn’t mention his ex, nor is he in contact with her.

I know he’s the one and he says I’m the one too. Even my dad thinks the same. My friends like him. He has stuck by me through a lot, having spates of depression don’t make me the easiest person to get along with at times. We work amazingly well together. H still takes me for meals out, we cook together. He took me to a festival together. We can tell each other exactly how we feel. I’ve met his family. He gets upset if he upsets me by accident. He’s nearly lost his job because of me, but he didn’t care. He says he is the luckiest man alive. He never lets me walk on the side of the road.

Is there something to worry about or am I over thinking things?

View related questions: his ex, lost his job

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011):

I don't think you have anything to worry about. It sounds like he treats you well & really cares. If you got together a week or two after his relationship, I could see your concern. Or if he talked about her a lot, but he doesn't. Trust that he has put her in the past where she belongs & wants to be with you.

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A female reader, KittieS United Kingdom +, writes (18 October 2011):

KittieS agony auntYour way over thinking things.

Let his past be his past, accept he is with you and enjoy your time together

It really is as simple as that :)

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (18 October 2011):

chigirl agony auntYou are not his rebound. You are only scaring yourself with these thoughts. Maybe you do not feel worthy of him for personal reasons, and so you are looking for reasons why he couldn't possibly care for you the way he says he does.

I think it's time you stop worrying and start having some faith and trust in him. You are ridiculing your own relationship by calling it a rebound. Try to take yourself, him, and your relationship, seriously.

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