A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, please give me some advice. Iv been with boyfriend about a year, and I have to say in our relationship I'm the romantic one, but Iv come to accept that he doesn't show his love through small gestures. I'malways sending him little texts, or messages on facebook, to suprise him, just letting him know how much I love himetc, he's never done this for me even though he knows how happy that kind of thing makes me, and he never replies. I asked himwhy and he said teres no point because he sees me everyday ad stuff. So like I said, he misses te romantic point about brightening someones day and stuff. I'll live with it. So here'sy problem, a couple of weeks ago I saw on his facebook account that he hadn't even bothered to open half of my messages, and also he'd sent messages to 4 different girls, who he didn't know, on the same night telling them they were pretty and stuff like that. I went crazy and he told me at that time we'd had an argument, he wasnt sure if he really want to be with me anymore and he just wanted to get back at me. Ok. Iv made it clear that next time I'm not accepting any excuses, he's out, and I could have forgotton about it were it not for the fact that although he knows it would make me so happy, I'm never worth a little message, bit WTF some complete strangers are just because their pretty. He still continues to constantly use facebook despite me telling him how much it hurts me, and he stillignores my messages. He's made me feel umimportant in his life, an not worth anything to him. Please help, before the whole facebook thing I was truly happy with him :(.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): you are a bit clingy, and you are different to him so leave it x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): You are both still very young to be in an exclusive relationship, that is NOT to say your boyfriend should not appreciate and take on board what you are saying to him. But it seems it's YOU who makes the running, the one giving, and quite often males are just not ready emotionally as much as females to proceed into an exclusive relationship.
I understand how much you would enjoy receiving little texts, messages etc, but you cannot change the way someone is, and your boyfriend is either not that kind of person, in which case you will not be able to change him, or he is not ready for this kind of relationship, either way you will have to decide what is important to YOU. If you say, you accept the way he is, personally I don't think you will be totally happy with this, and the whole problem will raise it's ugly head again..so you really do need to ask yourself, what you want, and if it's someone who is not on facebook messaging other girls, but concentrating on you, then you may have to consider moving on and finding someone that makes you feel happy.
As I say, you are both still very young with years ahead to establish an exclusive relationship..enjoy dating, enjoy getting to know yourself and perhaps back off from him for a while, stop texting little messages or whatever you do, it may make him MISS them, right now, he perhaps takes you a little for granted, so give him something to be intrigued by.
I hope things improve for you.
Jilly x
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Why are you still with him?
You do realise that there are loads of guys in this world who will message you and make you feel special? What are you doing with him?
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