A
female
age
41-50,
*pnDwnHeart
writes:I broke up with my BF of 3.5 years about 5 months ago. We had a great connection, great passion, good sense of humor. . . but along the way in our relationship I would catch him in several lies. About drinking, pieces of paper with other girls numbers on them, and pornography emails from friends. I really hated that he was lieing to me but I allowed it to happen by not taking a stand when each event occurred. Now I finally got the courage to break up with him AFTER meeting a "new" guy ( who I am currently dating) who helped me to see the light. He was mysterious and passionate. I immenitaly felt a strong connection with him, I could communicate and felt myself with him. NO lies here. We both were very open about our situations. He had just broken up with his XGF earlier in the year ( so 6 months had passed for him when he met me) He was in a relationship with her for almost 5 years. Long story short... he adores me like CRAZY!! He wants it to work between us sooo much. One major problem is he lives almost 2000 miles away. A VERY long distance relationship. Thi shas created tension in our relationship because of distance and my X is right here in my town. I have really been thinking about my EX a lot. I miss him, but am very confused as what I should do. I am getting to the age where I feel I should be getting married and within 3-5 years have kids. ****OTHER important info, my X and I were going to get married after a year and a half of dating. I thought we should wait a little longer so we did, but then almost 2 more years pass and he starts hanging out with his friends more and not focusing on US. After I broke up with him he was absolultely crushed. I was his first true love. He wanted to marry me.He is now dating someone new and is already sleeping with her after 1.5 months! It hurts but I know I broke up with him, so I have to expect he'll move on. But I still have feelings.I am sooo tired of not knowing what to do in my relatonships. I think I should be old enough to know what the and *@*# to do. : (Please help with any advice, I'm begging!!! I finally thought I had things all sorted out when I broke up with my X and found what I thought was my dream man. Now the spark hs fizzled with him because of the distance and I am wondering if I should give my X a 2nd chance.I really appreciate any thoughts from anyone, but would really like to hear from some older adults who may have gone through something like this. THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!
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broke up, crush, long distance, move on, my ex, porn, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (14 January 2008):
Going by my own personal experience being in a long distant relationship is the last thing i can advise anyone.Sorry to say this but most women are weak hearted and tend to question their love for their long distance partner and are ALWAYS faced with the temptation to cheat on their partners.Such relationships require you to have a heart of gold,meaning you must have eyes only for your partner and must truly love them,otherwise as i've learnt the hard way,it's gonna be a long painful journey until you break up.Please do yourself a favour and ask yourself if you can handle the distance and if you can continue being faithful.In my opinion,you are already cheating on your current partner because you are constantly thinking of your ex and you'll soon ACTUALLY cheat on him.Somethings are better dealt with in honesty.If you can focus on your current guy even though i understand what you say when you say the spark has fizzled.What you are going through is a test of your love for your current boyfriend.TAKE the test or LEAVE it.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 January 2008):
 Many women want a break up with their men but after sometime and some where down the road , they realized and regretted that they would have been better if they did not breakup. They would like to have their men back and sometimes, those men have gone on and married somebody.
If you really and truly love him, you do not care if he has slept with someone or what he did after your break up. You were the reason he did that. You have to share the blame
Put out your feelers and find out if he is still interested and then you can reconnect again.
All men have vices.(drinking, pieces of paper with other girls numbers on them, and pornography emails, gambling , womanizing ) Men are not perfect and when they marry, they may give them up .
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