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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My ex and I have been together on and off for 3 years. He is very stubborn and thinks i'm going to hurt him again, because I did over a year ago. We are great together and he says he doesn't have time for a relationship cause he is so busy, but I know deep down he is afraid of getting hurt and he kind of admits it. I guess my question is should I just give up? or wait it out to see if he wakes up and realizes he is being dumb? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2012): He isn't being dumb, he's keeping his feelings protected from people who are likely to hurt them...that's quite a smart thing.
You can hardly blame him for not believing you when you say you won't do it again. And to be honest, it doesn't sound like he even cares to believe you anyway.
It seems like he's made his mind up, he doesn't have time for you and he doesn't want a relationship with you, and you're just holding onto something that isn't going to happen.
You should move on and learn from this experience so not to make the same mistake in the future.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012): Wow with that condescending attitude I don't blame him for keeping his guard up.
How is it dumb to protect yourself against someone proven to be perfectly willing and able to hurt you?
Actually trusting you again is dumb in my opinion because you seem to expect him to just be magically over what you did and you don't even have the patience or respect to build that trust up again, you're here talking about how he should wake up and that he's dumb for not trusting you.
You're the one who needs to wake up OP, he can't just get over it in a time frame you'd like him to, you need to earn that back and you obviously think you have or you wouldn't be so patronizing.
I certainly wouldn't get back with you with that attitude and you very obviously are deluded to think you were great together too, if that was the case then why did you hurt him?
"I guess my question is should I just give up?"
Yeah I think you should, he told you he doesn't want a relationship with you as that is exactly what he meant when he said he was too busy. You burned that bridge long ago OP and really your impatience and attitude was the final nail in the coffin.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 He is being dumb? you hurt him in the past therefore he finds it hard to trust you again, do you blame him? It can be very hard to give someone a second chance once they have hurt us. That is not him being dumb. He has been hurt and he is unwilling to let his guard down with you again, I think you should just let go and allow him and yourself to move forward.
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