A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 6 months has asked me to leave him alone as he has some thinking to do?I'm not really sure what is going on with him at all. He has gone quite funny since we had a bust up a few weeks ago and I am wondering if he is trying to break up with me or trying out someone new but keeping me on the back burner?This is a guy who up until the weekend called me every night before bed, sometimes in the daytime and texted throughout the day. So far no texts or calls from him at all.I have felt his feelings towards me changing but just wondered if he was going through something that he is not telling me about.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI had my head all sorted out, I can see he is very mixed and emotionally unstable and so he should be if he is indeed stringing me along and sleeping with someone else. Why not just tell me, I would have more respect for him if he did. I hate cowards. Does he really think things will work with a girl half his age, not exactly going to be able to take her round to mums, same age as his niece.I do intend to keep him at a distance and yes if he wants me back he has an awful lot of butt kissing to do and he knows this. He keeps saying I should trust him as without trust we don't have a relationship. I'm not some naive 20 year old, I definitely don't open my heart up fully after a few months. Keeps saying how loyal and trustworthy he is. Sad if he is cheating and saying all this crap, he is only fooling himself at the end of the day.To be honest I really don't have any concentrate evidence of the cheating, just a gut feeling. Will let him enjoy his fun but I intend to have mine too. Seems he really isn't too bothered about me keeping my options open. My girlfriends have been great and I have a few plans to keep me going and a holiday to plan. If I keep telling myself its his loss I will get through it.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (6 June 2012):
 Crikey o'reilly!!! What a knob he is!!!
I am surprised you arn't banging your head on the table in utter confusion!!!
(but good that you arn't)
He's messing, confused, cheating (and you know he is) he is being armslengthy and evasive and you have to ask yourself why!!!
I think you have this one down right. He will keep you dangling on that string, just so he can keep the illusion that someone cares but looks like he intends to end things, he just doesn't want to be the bad guy and make the final blow.
I think from now on I'd act like he no longer exists...even if he does get his act together and decides he wants you, he seriously has some butt kissing to do to make it up to you.
Dangle if you must, have countless draining meetings if it pleases you, but I think you already know how this will end.
Excellent plan to lean on your girlfriends...that's precisely what you need at this time.
You can get over this...Oh yes you can!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe did meet up and here goes:Said he still loves me but doesn't think as muchSaid he still thinks I'm his soulmate but can't see our relationship lastingSaid he is not cheating and eager to know who I think it is withWants us to meet up within the next two weeks and talk about our relationship but can't say if it will lead to getting back togetherSays I don't trust him and he is right on that one, I find it difficult to trust but I am working on that oneHe says we both need to work on our issues but he can't say what his areAs per norm he was all over me kissing and hugging me, but he knows I won't sleep with himAfter sleeping on it I have told him I am still prepared to meet up and talk but I will be keeping my options open.Said he either wants me 100% or not, yes a gamble but what have I got to lose?He says he is sad but understands what I am saying but still says he thinks we have something special. I think if it was that special he would be fighting for our love now not in two weeks time.I have started making plans without him for the weekend and have a couple of great girlfriends who are getting me through this. As I said to him his loss will be someone elses gain. I am indeed a very genuine, loving, caring, beautiful person, I might have some trust issues but that is all.
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (6 June 2012):
Whats going on??
He is cheating on you and has told you he doesn't want to continue a relationship with you...That's what's going on but for some reason, you cannot see it and are looking for another motive??
He is breaking away and has told you so both in word and action.
You can try clinging on and promisisng him the world to stay with you but really that's just giving him the green light to treat you like shit from now on!!!
I wonder how your meeting went?? Maybe he begged your forgiveness and you are now back with him, but can you ever really trust him again??
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBoyfriend sort of broke up with me, nothing official, just one text the other day to say it's over, move on.
Since arranged to meet up tomorrow but he still is only replying to some of my texts and not picking up the phone and won't call me. He can't even say if he wants to be in a relationship with me. Says he will say all what needs to be said tomorrow. What the hell is going on?
Well it does seem as if he has been sleeping with a girl half his age, one he took quite an interest in a few weeks ago. He did mention her, apparently works at his hairdressers, then he befriended her on Facebook. I had my suspicions about this one but nothing concrete until earier today and it just all fell into place.
So yes he spent the weekend sleeping with a girl half his age whilst still arranging to meet up with me to discuss things. What the hell is going on?
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (31 May 2012):
It looks like it's a bad deal and you are working it out for yourself.
We've all been there darling...wasted time on the wrong person and as you get older, you get less emotional about it and you stop falling for the shit!!
It's really hard to find someone who is genuine, kind, honest and wants a decent loving relationship and it gets much harder the older you get...but at least you can see the truth and without that we are all living in La La land!!
I hope you work it out and life settles down for you. I know it's tough being single, but let's be honest, there are some absolutely amazing things about it too and a lot of stuff you'd hate to give up (especially for a wrong'un)
Keep your chin up...there are still surprises in the future for you xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did ask him what he need to think about and he said our relationship, whether me and him would work, said things are too up and down.
I told him I wasn't going to wait around for some idiot to make up his mind and his lame reply was he waited around long enough for me when we broke up last time.
But I am not him and yes I do think it is his lame attempt at either pushing me to end it as he is too much of a coward to do this or he is entertaining some other mug, for all I know he could be doing both.
I think I know he isn't the man for me, seems to hold a grudge a lot of the time and if you do something to him, say hang up on him, he will do the same thing back, a little too 'tit for tat' if you ask me.
Thank you for comments, it does help when the person you should be discussing your relationship with, decides not to speak to you.
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (30 May 2012):
Yep looks like the back burner doesn't it? I can see why your minds doing overtime on this one.
If someone did this to me in this way (not giving a reasonable explaination) I would assume the relationship was over and done with and cut the cord.
If, say, he had family issues, he might ask for a bit of time to sort things out but still give you the odd call or text, but to cut off completely means he isn't thinking about you and isn't concerned what this is doing to you.
If he is seeing someone else, there isn't a damn thing you can do about it...and if he comes back, you are always going to wonder if he will do the same thing again.
Is it worth putting yourself through the agony and suffering when you have absolutely no idea what the end result will be?
My advice would be to say nothing, assume the relationship is over and start living the single life again.
If he comes back, it's up to you if you choose to try again but one thing is 100% for sure...chasing him and demanding answers will ensure he never comes back.
My sympathies to you, I hope you begin to feel better soon xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2012): Whatever he is going through could. And should be shared with you especially if he wants so much space from you as a result. If you ask him to share and he won't I think you should consider walking bc no one should be able to just put you on pause and resume with you at their leisure. If you have felt his feelings change as well that could be a sign that he is pulling away. You can try to reconnect with him but if he doesn't respond I would advise you cut your losses and look for someone who cares about you more.
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reader, Lkslrs  +, writes (29 May 2012):
He's probably hiding something from you and you should ask him what's going on, and tell him he can trust you On everything, let him know you're gonna be tree whenever he needs you, if he doesn't want to tell you then there's a problem and I don't want to say it but he might be seeing someone else or something like that..I'm sorry.
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