A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've posted about this before on this site, however the problem is still continuing.Every time I text my bf while we're both at work he just completely ignores me, yet he's on facebook posting statuses, liking pictures, just doing whatever. He doesn't text me back for hours most of the time. He claims that he doesn't see my texts, he's usually on fb on his work computer.It really bothers me that he can't take a little bit of time to answer me when I'm asking how his day is going. Its just so inconsiderate to me. He thinks its no big deal and just keeps saying he doesn't even know I texted him. What should I do about this? Is this a big deal or should I just let it go? Am I being petty about this?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 February 2013):
 if he's on facebook (and you are too since you are seeing it) just send him messages on facebook.
sometimes i don't answer texts.. maybe i didn't hear my phone go off... or i have it on vibrate for a meeting and didn't reset it to ring or it's in my coat pocket or something.
when I was a kid growing up... mom was home, dad at work... NO computers, no cell phones... dad kissed her goodbye and went to work... MAYBE he called her at lunch... if not he came home at diner time... and they talked about their day AT DINNER...
I miss those days.
My first husband and I were married.. NO cell phones... no internet with email yet... and he worked LONG DISTANCE from our home... there were days we didn't talk at all...
even now with email, and cell phones there are days my hubby is too busy or I'm too busy at work to talk...
it's WORK... I realize he's killing time on facebook... but this need for INSTANT response is going to kill so many relationships... if you talk and text all day what do you talk about when you have dinner?
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (28 February 2013):
 The answer is simple. Stop texting him when either one of you is at work. You can hear all about his day, and he yours, when your shifts are over and you're both at home.I recommend you not contact him on Facebook either. If he wants to muck about on company time and jeopardize his job, that's up to him. You don't need to encourage him in that direction or jeopardize your own job by unnecessary fraternizing.Besides, resorting to Facebook would be very bad PR for you. It tells him (and possibly all his Facebook friends) you're not interesting or charismatic enough to inspire people to pay attention to you voluntarily. The only way you can get it is to chase folk down. Who wants that?Your boyfriend has other friends he'd like to keep in touch with and hopefully you do as well. So let him, and you do the same. Don't be so predictable and available all the time. Give him a chance to miss you. Focus on your duties while at work and find other things to do on your free time. Let him be the one to initiate contact with you and when you do connect, you'll be happier, you'll have more interesting things to talk about and as a result you'll be someone fun to hang out with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2013): Just message him via Facebook if that is his only means of communication while at work. He can respond then and if he doesnt, you will know for sure that he is ignoring you on purpose.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (28 February 2013):
 no offense intended, but i think you're being petty. work is for work. yes, he may be on facebook, but that is probably because he is on his work computer.
who cares if he texts you while at work? i don't text at work at all. and neither does my partner. we don't even expect it out of each other. it's just professional.
i would just relax. it's not that big of a deal.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (28 February 2013):
 There are a couple of things going on here:
1) Your boyfriend isn't making any time for you. If he has time during the day to surf facebook he certainly has time to send you a text. He could also phone you during lunch or during his breaks. It certainly sounds important to you and he should recognize that you like to hear from him.
2) There could be a distinct possibility that he works deep inside a building where phone and text messages don't come in. Have you asked him if this is the case?
3) When he is on facebook, he is on a mental break during work. It is on his terms -- meaning he is calling the shots when it happens. Perhaps he has 30 seconds or so while his computer is doing something and can quickly interact with Fcaebook. A text message could be an unwelcome interruption -- especially if he is talking with his boss. Also responding to one text message may lead you to sending another and thus ensues a conversation... he may not have time or the attention level to be able to deal with that.
4) Are you texting him too much? He may find your checking up on him a sign of neediness. When he is at work, he is being paid to work. Why not schedule a time to chat with one another -- say at lunch time?
Remember, when your boyfriend is at work, he is on his employer's time. To expect him to text you back immediately and all the time is rather presumptuous (even if he is on Facebook). This might be something you have to live with -- and it might just make you look forward to face to face conversations or phone calls later in the day.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, Romanilove +, writes (28 February 2013):
You aren't being petty. If he can post on Facebook he can text u back. very simple. Most employers dont want their employees on facebook or their cellphone. He can text u during a bathroom break at least.
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