A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a long distance relationship since last 2 years. After a rough ride, things are finally smooth. Both of us are happy and satisfied and we love each other a lot. We make every effort to stay as much in touch as possible now. We casually engage in virtual lovemaking on the cam. I feel its a part of a strong relationship and both of us are really comfortable with it and we enjoy our time together...anyway we get to spend it. My problem is I have not really experienced a good orgasm ever. We did it twice when he was with me and then he left for abroad. That time I remember I was very aroused when he was giving me an oral. We didnt go all the way and I have forgotten the feeling also. But recently my boyfriend told me that I had almost shooted out at his face that day. It was a little embarrassing but then he said he liked it a lot and made me comfortable.Now whenever we engage in it, so it is both of us masturbating in the real sense at our individual places...and he gets aroused taking his normal time and ejaculates. As for me, I feel it a lot when I stimulate my clit and nipples but I dont really feel a thing when I finger myself. I get wet but then...thats it!My boyfriend has started thinking that I am very difficult to deal with in bed and that I hardly get an orgasm. Its kind of true also. I get wet like anything each time. But that peak after which a girl would just shudder and collapse....I havnt felt it ever. Is it coz I am not doing it right?...or I dont feel enough?...actually I feel lot different and much much more aroused when he is with me in person. I get wet even if he touches me that ways tenderly. And also, I get bored doing it to myself just for the heck of it. Strange but thats how I am. I feel great in making him feel good n satisfied at sex...even if virtual and thats why I do it. I enjoy the thing as a whole from the talks to the foreplaying to the actual thing. BUT I miss his presence a lot. Its a completely different thing and I have started thinking that only he can take me to that orgasmic level.He says Im tough at pleasing and I feel a little conscious about myself w.r.t. the orgasm issue now. He wants to see me and hear me out when Im having it....which I am okay with but I never get that high a feeling..He would ask me how I am feeling at that point and everytime I say I am wet and feeling good. He would say that he wants to know something more and says 'that happens everytime to you....but I wish I could hear you having it like anything till the peak...'What happens to me is my legs get weak and shaking when I stimulate my clit and I get wet like anything. As my legs get weak n shuddering I stop myself....I duno why it just happens..like a break!He says I should be shooting it out every time! Its kind of disgusting but I am comfortable with him and he is the best guy I could ever be with. He is all loving, caring and honest. Its just that I hardly get to those levels of orgasm by myself. How to tell him......or just how to get it done.Please help...I dont want this silly thing to make it awkward between us.
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a break, ejaculate, foreplay, long distance, nipples, orgasm Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply. I am pretty open at what I think and say. I just speak out whats going inside. I am reading about it and would surely try things out giving myself enough time.
Both of us are very open at discussing and talking things out. Earlier he also had some minor issue with his stuff. He was a bit reluctant about it at first but then shared with me v frankly and asked me also about it. And he felt very good and releived after we talked about it. I searched about his prob on the net n I never let that thing make him feel low or uncomfrtable ever and I felt soooooooo good when he expressed how gr8 he felt when we talked.
Maybe I havnt been very serious about my sexuality n stuff and I have been concentrating more on his pleasure. I am not a v body conscious person and I control my senses pretty well. But ya I realise now its important for me also to feel the same as he does to make it a memorable experience for both of us in the real sense.
I hope soon I can give him a good answer when he asks me how I am feeling when we are making out...he keeps asking me that frequently...even I am bored of my own replies now. :P
I am really happy in my relationship and I guess I am more happy coz he is happy too....so I wont let this thing become an issue evr.....
Thanks a ton for reading through and the nice comment :)
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 You have to take the pressure off of yourself to perform for him. You're a very honest person, and that's awesome.
I'd recommend spending some time with just yourself without him and learn more about how you work. Get some books about how to do it (yes, they have those! :P) This way, you won't have to stop yourself because you won't be self-conscious.
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