A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Six months ago when I was on a college fieldtrip and a bit low on confidence I cheated on my girlfriend (GF) of (2yrs) with a coursemate (CM). I came clean straight away and although it has been difficult we are now as strong as ever.However both my GF and my CM will be a forthcoming college ball. My GF has said that if I talk to my CM she will be very upset. I will be talking to the rest of the people on my course and am worried ignoring my CM this may make an awkward situation even more so. I feel terrible for what I have done to my GF but is it reasonable to completely ignore my CM? Obviously I am not going to spend hours chatting to my CM as this would be disrespectful to my GF, just to say hello and ask how she is if the situation arises. I am going to explain this to my girlfriend, am I being reasonable?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2005): I have to agree with the last answer. I think you need to show your GF that the night with your CM ment nothing. I think the one who is being reasonable is your GF. I give her a lot of credit for even attending your ball. Thats a hard thing to do. I think out of respect you should not even say hello. keep your distance from the other girl to avoid awkwardness. The night of the ball you should focus all your attention on your GF and make her feel like you and her are the only ones there. Just to know that you dont notice anyone but her would really make her feel special. let her know how beautiful she looks all night. this will really re-asure her shes the only one for you. Good luck
A
female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (19 November 2005):
NO! This is not a resonable request at all. You need to cut ALL ties to show your GF that you are serious in your commitment to her. You think you are going to feel awkward think of how your poor GF will feel as she has to stay civil and polite while in the same room as the woman her BF cheated on her with. Look at it this way, you made your GF feel bad when you cheated on her, a feeling that lasted much longer than one night, it will not kill you to feel awkward at this one function for the sake of your relationship.
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